Street fighting and ethics

So let's say you're in line to get ice cream one day, and out of nowhere these two guys attack you with knives.




They're determined to kill you. You can't run away, you can't hide, and they're not going to stop trying to kill you unless you kill or incapacitate them. Everyone else at the ice cream store is just watching. The cops aren't coming.

Do you fight back, knowing the babies they're carrying might get hurt in the process no matter how careful you are? Or do you let them stab you to death for the sake of the babies?



No, this thread isn't about anything else. It's just a fun hypothetical.

Dance around out of reach until the fat fucks wear themselves out.

This i would pay to see

I immediately call in an air strike so that the entire neighborhood is carpet bombed. Sure, I might die, but who knows how many other knife wielding maniacs with babies strapped to their chests are out there, just waiting for the chance to gut me like a fish? And you know, the owner of the ice parlor looks kinda shifty, like maybe he’s in cahoots with the guys with knives, so I’ve got no regrets about having the whole area flattened. YMMV.

That's not one of the options, try again

Nope. If you can do bullshit hypotheticals so can I.

Neither guy looks like they could successfully stab a sausage with a fork. Plus, they're weighed down with a baby. You can outrun them. And their movements are hampered. Two of your premises are demonstrably false - if they aren't, you're dealing with superhumans and you're fucked no matter what you do.

This is not a very good or intelligent attempt at a "Gotcha!!", 14thDoc.

"I'm an idiot!" was self-deprecation on 12's part, but there's no need to take it as a life choice.

A contrived scenario that in no way reflects what is happening in Gaza, and which if taken at face value deliberately excludes other options available. It is - literally - an attempt to justify child murder on a massive scale. Get fucked.

The correct answer is Haduken!

What's Goza? I'm just asking about a hypothetical scenario unrelated to anything else, friend. I like ice cream and these sorts of concerns keep me up at night.

A god that got it's arse kicked by four New Yorkers. So it's about fifteen times tougher than you.

Obviously you use your Jerry Garcia in a pouch.

Meh, I'll see your Jerry Garcia and raise you Celestial Kenny Rogers:

You mean I get to live out every REAL American's dream of killing someone and claiming self defense, twice, and they throw in two babies on top of that? Sounds like a win/win/win/win to me.

I mean, yeah, most people just assume the babies are innocent, but what if they're not? How do I know this isn't a Master Blaster-type arrangement and the babies are the masterminds?

That's true. In this scenario, I'm only responsible for protecting myself, and not an entire populace I've been entrusted with protecting.

fuckin' hippie!

Hi, have you seen my avatar?

We've all seen your avatar, it's why you get called a Nazi.

Oh wait, you meant the current one.

Yeah... I always thought it a bit incongruous TBH.
then again, Oldfeela claimed to have once owned a Dayglo Abortions EP, so no accounting for who has taste?

Sure it isn't about anything else. You are really desperate to excuse Isreali actions, and it is bordering on really fucking mental.

However, in the example I would imagine I would be pretty easy to kill given I am laughing so fucking hard at the idea of being killed by a douchy hipster cuck with a baby and that facial hair. In reality I am probably going to survive the 15 seconds until mama bear comes by and beats the shit out of her crazy toxic husband for fighting with her child.

Seriously, it is a doughy white dad who has been forced to carry his baby while mom is doing better things. What am I afraid of again?

There is actually an anime based on this premise, and I immediately bow and offer my allegiance to baby lord beilzebub. The premise of the anime is that the dark lord is a baby who has transported to earth inside a rather muscular man, don't ask, and sees this uber powerful delinquent kid who kicks everyone's ass and decides to cling to him. Then hilarity ensues.

did you see the guys wearing the babies? I am pretty sure the babies are the masterminds.

The answer depends.

Are you wearing a leather jacket?

(And it can't believe it took 26 posts for someone to ask that question.)

Obviously, I'm getting ice cream.

I'm sad I forgot about this important detail.

But at least I made the Street Fighter 2 reference