Theatrical Star Wars just can't get it together.

Discussion in 'Media Central' started by Diacanu, Mar 7, 2023.

  1. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    I agree with most of that. It’s the sequel trilogy I have issues with.
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  2. StarMan

    StarMan Fresh Meat

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    This is 10/10 news - I can't wait! I couldn't be more thrilled to explore the future of the Star Wars Universe after the phenomenal conclusion to the Skywalker Saga™.

    I am crying tears of joy, as is the thing to do.
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  3. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    The role of this first Jedi ever will be interesting to see cast.
    Will they go for an unknown like Mark Hamill, Hayden Christensen, and Daisy Ridley, or will they go for a star, like Alec Guinness, or Liam Neeson?
    :chris:
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  4. NAHTMMM

    NAHTMMM Perpetually sondering

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    It's actually an amoeba voiced by Andy Serkis.

    You know you want it.
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  5. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    It’s a very important role. I think they should cast an established actor. Someone young, obviously.
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  6. We Are Borg

    We Are Borg Republican Democrat

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    Bring back Jake Lloyd!
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  7. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne Gay™ Formerly Important

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    I know this is meant to be a joke,but that guys no longer on speaking terms with his mom for making him do that movie for all the bullying he's endured over that role by adult children who need to leave their parents' basements more often. And that was when people had to take the time to buy stamps AND go to a post office to sent hate mail rather than just tagging their Twitter account. :jayzus:

    I feel sorry for those kids on the Skeleton Crew already.
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  8. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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  9. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    Of course it is because Kathleen Kennedy doesn’t care that each successive movie made less than the last one. The Force is female, damnit!
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  10. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    OR! Maybe because that's where the story left off chronologically, so that's where they have to go forward from, just like fucking Picard.
    :rolleyes:
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  11. 14thDoctor

    14thDoctor Oi

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    I think biggest problem with Star Wars movies is that too many Star Wars fans are toxic fucking babies that don't deserve to have anything good ever again. Other than Wil Wheaton, how many Star Trek actors were harassed off social media and/or subjected to so much hate from the "fans" that they considered or attempted suicide?
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  12. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Even sicker, toxic Trek fans just empty their poison, and it LEADS to despair as an accidental side-effect.
    Toxic Wars fans, the suicide stuff is the fucking GOAL of these vipers. They slap five over that shit.

    Edit-
    No, misery was Dayton's goal as a Trek fan, but he blew goats at it.
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2023
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  13. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    That nobody asked for.
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  14. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    I don't recall anyone asking for any Star Wars.
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  15. Bickendan

    Bickendan Custom Title Administrator Faceless Mook Writer

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    As long as Andy Serkis plays every character :bailey:
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  16. Steal Your Face

    Steal Your Face Anti-Federalist

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    Tell me you don’t understand that phrase without telling me you don’t understand that phrase.
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  17. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    I mean, people wanted Empire and Jedi, but nobody demanded them.
    Definitely no one asked for prequels, but they were onboard when they were announced.
    Ditto the sequels.
    The only thing vaguely resembling a fan idea that made it to screen was Rogue One.

    Even using the vague "waahh! This was inflicted on poor little me!" version of the phrase, doesn't help much.
    There's been more good than bad from the franchise.
    It's not like a fucking baseball team with an imaginary curse on it.
    :shrug:
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  18. Shirogayne

    Shirogayne Gay™ Formerly Important

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    No one was banging down the door for more Picard in 2020 either, numbnuts. :dayton:

    What's truly amazing with SW is how much toxicity they were able to pump out even before social media existed. I mean, think about the energy it takes to write a hate filled letter, look up the studio's address, buy stamps for it and mail this shit to A FUCKING CHILD in 1999 and how collectively bugfucked this fandom had to be to do this in the volume they did where it destroyed the relationship he had with his parents and made whatever latent issues that would've presented with schizophrenia that much worse. :brood:

    The worst I've heard aimed at Wesley was a con where Frakes mentioned the kid and they chanted "Kill the Boy," but people had calmed down a lot by the time TNG ended and Wesley didn't have quite as much focus. :shrug:
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  19. Jenee

    Jenee Driver 8

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    I think it's you who doesn't understand.

    you're saying writers are writing things no one asked for.
    Diacanu is saying no one asked for Star Wars.

    No one did. George Lucas decided to write a story. No one asked for it. He just did it.
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  20. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    And then Kathleen Kennedy, Rian Johnson and JJ Abrams came along with the explicit mandate of a great big :finger: to the old school fans and Lucas himself. It was an existing, beloved franchise, but THEY knew better.
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  21. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    No, they didn't "come along". Kennedy was hand-picked by Lucas, and Abrams was hand-picked by Spielberg on behalf of Lucas.
    You can't gargle Lucas's dick for picking Filoni, and then spit it out for the other successors.
    It's the same Lucas picking all of 'em.
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  22. Jenee

    Jenee Driver 8

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    Why are “old school fans” more important than other fans, newer fans, or younger fans?
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  23. 14thDoctor

    14thDoctor Oi

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    Empire seems universally beloved, but every movie after that seems to have some percentage of Star Wars "fans" screaming and shitting blood. "Beloved" isn't really accurate. :shrug:
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  24. tafkats

    tafkats scream not working because space make deaf Moderator

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    This one seems like it could easily be a full trilogy.
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  25. matthunter

    matthunter Ice Bear

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    Once again, Penny Arcade is relevant to our interests:

    Screenshot 2023-04-16 235106.jpg
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  26. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    I may have said this before, but fuck it.
    If they brought Mara in, and had her date and marry Luke, and then had her die at the destruction of Luke's academy, that would motivate his Last Jedi depression SO much better! That would fix 99% of fanboy beef with that trilogy.
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  27. Jenee

    Jenee Driver 8

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    Disney: We have released more than XX movies that failed at the box office. We have lost nearly #XXXX dollars, XX amount of times we have been trusted to release a box office hit and missed. We have failed over and over and over again in our lifetime, that is why we succeed.
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  28. NAHTMMM

    NAHTMMM Perpetually sondering

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    My big problems are the needless angst between Han and Leia and the fact that Luke ran off and hid when he should be running to rescue his friends.

    Pretty much everything else I can appreciate or at least roll with.
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  29. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    I could have fixed that with a one sentence edit to the TFA script.
    Change "Luke is missing cuz sad" to "he was on an artifact quest with Lando, and lost contact".
    Boom, there you go.
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  30. NAHTMMM

    NAHTMMM Perpetually sondering

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    That would be great. There's still a reason to look for a map and you have a bonus hook for the next movie. The artifact could even be the sacred Jedi writings.
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