Today is Bi/Pan Invisibility Day.

Advice comes in many forms. I'm sure most of us would love to live in a world where the best advice is always "be yourself and fuck what others think", but the sad truth is if we loved in such a world the advice wouldn't be needed anyway.

We're seeing a backwards trend in TGBTQ rights in the US at the moment and it's no terrible thing that people are acknowledging the values of caution and discretion. They shouldn't have to, but it would be disingenuous to pretend it's always wise or safe to throw those things to the wind.

Still no @Ancalagon since he started this thread? That's a shame. Don't agree with some of his politics but he's always been a stand up guy IMO

Im worried about him. Having to hide who you are from your loved ones is an awful feeling that just eats you up inside, I know from experience. It’s a pain that no one should have to suffer through. I wish him the best and hope he can find some peace.

He's a tough kid, he'll be alright.

See? Soulless ginger abominations aren't easy to kill.

No.

lord knows I've tried!

Good luck.

I had some wonderful Indian food today. Butter Chicken, saag paneer, rice, a dosa, that sweet rice dessert, and garlic naan. Only $9 plus $1 for a fountain drink.

That is a steal in high priced California.

Oh, my, he's showing off his superior palate again.

Weren't you the one who freaked out about calling people it was dehumanizing yet here you are doing it yourself.

Hypocrisy they name is turdrun.

Tell us more about the lonely can of beans you had last night

Sadly, I had to work last night. I like the shift differential on prevailing wage but dislike the whole fucking up my sleep schedule bit.

Why do you want me to lie? I actually made a homemade yellow curry. Not quite as good as my local Thai place, but not bad for a 98% European.

Stop projecting your mother's solitary existence onto every woman of her generation that you think you know.

Now, tell us again about the wonderful relationship with your mother that has caused you to loathe any other woman her age. You should spend less time sneering at people on WF and more quality time with your mom.

Or just keep bolstering your BFF @Dinner.

I had mashed potatoes and hot cocoa last night. Stupid swollen uvula.

I boiled some shrimp with corn and potatoes. I’ve been on a seafood kick recently and keep pushing it to spicier places. I’m probably going to burn my taste buds out by the time I hit my late 30s.

What's sad is that @Ten Lubak, based on his professional expertise, used to be the go-to person for cuisine (ask him about olive oil, or wild-caught salmon). There are items in my kitchen that I still purchase based on his advice (cue Stupid Comment from Stupid Posters).

More recently, he's been trying soooo hard to be one of the Kewl Kids, even though the people he's trying to impress are either dead or just don't care, that he ends up boring the rest of us. Except @Amaris, who is entirely too forgiving, IMO.

Shit, where the fuck did you find that miracle?

I love Indian food, but it's way too expensive most of the time.

they stopped selling naan bread at the Walmarts around here - what's up with that? I liked it with garlic & butter.

https://www.google.com/search?q=indian restaurant activity road san diego&oq=indian restaurant activity road&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l2.8376j0j7&client=ms-android-metropcs-us&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#istate=lrl:iv&rlimm=6058723383210424736

Punjabi Tandoor on Activity Road. It is a little hole in the wall but it frequently gets rated for top Indian food and actually has affordable prices. As a bonus it is near my work so after dropping some paperwork off at the office I went down there for a bite. It is the kind of place where the owners whole family works there and the food is good.

A lot of Indians who work at Qualcomm or Samsung go for lunch there. You also see a mixture of hipsters and people who work in the area there.

Their menu prices at the store are actually about $1 cheaper than on their website. I suspect all the competing Indian restaurants which have opened in the area are forcing them to keep prices down. Also, I notice they now include a potato samosa with their combos now as well.

It is best fresh anyway. I wish I had a tandoor as that is the proper way to bake it.

it's actually interesting that you frame it like that, and it's something our local Literalists ought to weigh in on.

If we asked, for this example, "why did god instruct the killing of innocents and the kidnapping and rape of virgins?" (among other questions) the stock response is "Well that was part of the culture of the time so god spoke to them in their terms" which, honestly, is by itself a pretty reasonable answer. I myself used to explain that gods history with man in the Bible was similar to a parent and a child, in that god gave simplistic instructions to early man as one would a toddler, and more complex direction as humanity evolved - as a parent would give more complex direction to a 14 year old than to a 4 year old.

BUT

If this is indeed true, than by this exact same logic, when humanity learns that the creation mythology cannot account for scientific findings, or that we really shouldn't sort certain humans into categories that we are "better than" or that past interpretations of Scripture were obviously flawed - you CANNOT then default back to "God changes not, and he meant to say the exact same thing to us that he said to Moses and David and Ezekiel and John and Paul"

Both cannot be true if you are thinking rationally, rather than rationalizing.

I anticipate using this argument often in the future!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You've abandoned that awful argument!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Sets off 15 year old fireworks*

*Plays "We Are The champions", on a first model MP3 player*

And another slayer of that argument....

When do you figure mankind gets to be a 4th grader?
Because as a 4th grader, I understood germs, atoms, molecules, hand washing, teeth brushing, fluoride, metamorphosis, the water cycle, the rock cycle, that the Earth moves around the Sun, and the Moon moves around the Earth, that the Earth is round, and the rudiments of evolution.
You're telling me God couldn't jot down a 4th grade science textbook?
And that people who were forging bronze couldn't have sorted it out?

Not universally - rather the advice is "make a wise judgment about the potential effects of coming out." I, myself, bang the drum incessantly for trans people who are closeted to come out and be visible because visibility is the only thing that will change the culture. As long as the Pharisees can't paint as a dangerous perverted freaks trying to peak at your little girl - which they can only do in the absence of visible lives that disprove that narrative - the culture, particularly in backwards red states, won't change.

The current estimates of the prevalence rate of trans people (I do not know how narrowly or broadly researchers defined that cohort) range from .3% of the population to around 1%

The population estimate for my home county is just shy of 22,000
Thus, assuming even distribution, there should be somewhere between 66 and 220 trans people in this county. I make it a point to network with nearby trans folks and I would be damned surprised if there were even 6 out and known to others as trans. At that low rate, it is VERY convenient to assume we are "freaks" who's interests can be ignored and who are just living a sinful life anyway.

If we take the middle of that range, say around 140, and ask only that half of these come out - that COMPLETELY changes the conversation and so in every locality in which it happens.

That said, it is absolutely true that in the current culture, even in liberal areas, to come out as trans is to put literally EVERY THING which is important to you at risk. We routinely find ourselves fired, unhireable, divorced, cut off from our children,shunned by our community, homeless even, without even basic medical car and hundreds of miles from any resource that can help - and al that apart from losing aces to the very resources that are vital to transition. It would be unethical to say to someone "take no thought of the consequences - get out there and be proud!"

To put it in words you relate to "What man builds a tower and does not first sit down and count the cost?"

to be clear, that analogy works within the context of Biblical history IF you apply it consistently - but literally no one does.

Hell D, a lot of 21st century folks seem unable to sot a shit o.