What the fuck is happening with the House of Windsor?!?!

I don’t actively follow any of this bullshit but it is forced on me through regular news consumption (this is where I complain about living too close to *those people* and having a couple hours CBC in my NPR) and apparently earlier this week Kate Middleton who is the wife of the not exiled prince was supposedly dead and photoshopped into a (not actual, real one is second Sunday of May) ‘Mothers Day’ photo but now King Sausage Fingers is also dead?

What the fuck kinda house are y’all running over there?

I had not heard or read those things. I had read that William is cheating on her-is that common knowledge? I didn't trust the sources. I mostly ignore this sort of topic in the news, but every couple of days someone whom I trusted to be level headed will post some sort of a teaser on social media like they know something-and so I go looking for it and come up with nothing and then lose a little respect for that person posting on social media. They actually said they were losing sleep over it.

Hopefully, behind this distraction someone has sent James Bond to kill trump because Biden is too fucking weak to handle the Russian power grab.

I can see him right now having to get around MTG as Mother Russia, and kill Lauren Bobert when she tries to sleep with him. Then he has to somehow get around Mat Gaetze's forehead and his army of fembot assasins.

Oh wait, this is the real world and the evildoers are so much weaker and lame.

I for real don’t give a shit but unfortunately consume international English language media which means I am forced to know more about the royal family we properly rejected unlike our moose fucking cousins or those sons of whores and criminals down in the South Pacific… who all unfortunately happen to have good radio services/podcasts…

Anyway. Apparently Kate Middleton had routine abdominal surgery in January but hasn’t been seen since. Which made Royal Freaks go freaky on the internet so she posted a proof of life photo which was clearly photoshopped which did not help things.

However, and I’m not quite sure how this transition happened, but the ‘mystery from the palace’ has transformed into now maybe Charles is dead but they are holding it back so as not to give the Irish that win…?

This feels like you're the person who insists they don't watch soap operas but just know all their ins and outs because you change the channel early waiting for game shows to start.

This would be a legit point EXCEPT for you, the goose fuckers, duetche welle, radio national neiderlande… and nope… I’m done… that’s it… who else am I listening to?

All jokes aside props to the Netherlands. We hear you Radio Neiderlande.

They seriously punch above their weight in international broadcasts and it is appreciated by those that appreciate.

soaps don't generally end up on the news. The royal family gets forced on everyone in the english speaking world because a certain group of that society has a very unhealthy bit of love for their whorish enslavers and tyranical abuser's children. It is not like these people are useful in any way. At least the kardasians are recently important adjacent. Even the fucking Osbournes did something to get watched.

Here in america we have not gotten rid of our useless white trash racist royalty, but we have dressed them up as ghosts and in other funny outfits while making fun of them. Of course, that has seemingly not gone the way we planned and there are a lot more of them that we knew. Maybe the UK needs some help and we can kill your monarchy worshipping idiots while you take out our confederate trumpanzees?

It is 2:15am my time but for real.

Let’s look at the population of the Netherlands.

Now let’s look at who *listens* to the broadcasts of the Netherlands and for real the ratio has to be insane.

Indonesia is seriously the fourth largest county in the world and what language is the one they use as the trade and governmental language 90 years post independence?!?!?

I’ll help you. The most common languages are Dutch, Farsi (Persian), Turkish, Arabic and then the literally hundreds of indigenous languages of the thousands of islands.

DUTCH! (NEIDERLANDER! as the Germans taught me when I lived there.) is in today’s era the language that the largest majority of Indonesians can understand.

190+ million Indonesians use Dutch (which I hopefully we can agree is the silliest of fucking silly languages. Should not exist. Only a distraction.) use fucking Dutch like it is a legit fucking language.

You folks don’t fucking believe me but I SWEAR TO GOD Dutch isn’t just a joke.

People in far away places speak it.

They use it.

Literally no one cares about this Kate Middleton bullshit except the mainstream media and people with zero social life.

I didn't even know it was a thing until I accidentally saw an article while browsing the CBC news site.

Hmmm?

They could all go off sick for a year and it would have no effect on anything important.

Holy shit.

This is definitely real.

We wouldn’t have sent our Top. People. if this wasn’t real.

https://x.com/pettylupone/status/1769762988326609272

Look man, at least you CHOSE to go to the CBC. Imagine having to live so close to Canadia that the CBC just gets beamed into your car… *BAM* now through no fault of your own you got Canukistanis sitting in your car babbling about the royals.

This is the BULLSHIT we border staters have to deal with.

Daily.

Everything I've learned about the situation I've learned secondhand through memes, but it's pretty hilarious how quickly everything is falling apart with Liz gone.

Oh, and despite all his sympathy for his mother's suffering and his newfound middle age ugliness, William was apparently cheating on his gorgeous bride and mother of his children with her slightly more horse faced doppelganger that he may have gotten pregnant. What a fuckin' tool.

And why is the fuck is Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge, making her own shitty Photoshop pictures and posting them to official accounts? All that staff and no one to manage her social media for her? Now's a good time for Anc to shoot his shot in her DMs, I guess.

What?!? Bill was porking Kate's sister? When did this shit happen?

How fuckin' dare you call Pippa horse faced.



It's Rose Hanbury, the Marchioness of Cholmondeley.

Oh. Yikes. If you're going to fuck around on someone, you should at least fuck around with someone better looking.

Then again, Bill's daddy Chuck fucked around on Diana with some hag-faced old bag (who is now the King's Consort). So poor taste must run in the House of Windsor.

For those of us who don’t speak aristocrat, what on earth is a Marchioness?

It's a BDSM thing. You pay $300 per hour for her to whip you in assless chaps.

EDIT: But seriously, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marquesses_in_the_United_Kingdom

So the rumor is that Kate got pregnant from another dude and was forced to have an abortion and died during surgery. I'm not saying that's what I believe, I'm just saying what the conspiracy theory is.

As I understand it Charles wanted to be with Camilla all along, and their thing started a decade before he was set up with Diana. But her family basically forced her to quickly get engaged to someone else while he was off with the Navy. I'm sympathetic to the plight of two ugly people that truly seem to have loved each other for decades despite all the pressure from their families to knock it off.

And I'm not saying you're a tinfoil hat wearing MAGAtard who voted for Trump, I'm just saying that's what it looks like.

If she was dead they wouldn't need to hide it, the "abdominal surgery" cover would work just fine to explain her death.

I think it's more likely she engaged in some more visible form of self harm, or William assaulted her, and they're keeping her out of the public eye until she's healed up.

So the female construction for “better than an Earl, worse than a Duke”?

What does this thread have to do with Trump? Absolutely nothing, but your severe case of TDS made you bring him up anyway. You need help.

Down here in the duh we have quebeccaroos to watch out for with their royal family loving beaver fuckin. Why is it that these people can navigate to america's dick without getting shot in the red mess? Those fucking CHUDs need to start eating more canadian.

Who do you think knocked up Kate so hard that she couldn't survive the abortion? Barron Trump is 6'8, there's no way her frail British womb could handle a monster fetus like that.