Why does American chocolate taste like crap?

I recently spent 2 weeks in Florida. Nice holiday, except for the time I wanted a chocolate bar. Bleurgh! Fucking Hershey's man. That stuff literally tastes and smells like sweetened vomit. Why do Americans actually buy and eat this shit?

Your taste buds were screwed up by the Zika virus.

Only Hershey's does and that is because the company started beforw the era of wide spread refrigeration so the company came up with a formula which didn't melt as easily as regular chocolate. If you think Hershey's is the only chocolate in America then you are wrong. It is mostly just cheap crap.

^It's widespread cheap crap. And too sweet.

Try Hershey's dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate. Try their baker's chocolate.

Mass market chocolate in America is targeted at kids, who favor sweetness, because American adults eat very little chocolate. It ruins the taste of smoked endangered species and rare whiskey.

For some reason Hershey uses butyric acid in their chocolate. That's where the rancid vomit flavor comes from.

Edit: Apparently Hershey uses a different recipe in Canada due to Canadians preference for not eating shitty chocolate. I assume the Americans committed some sort of sin and must pay for it through vomit chocolate. That's my theory anyway.

The sugar is to cover up the off taste caused by their nonmelting formula.

Man up. I can nom on butyric acid, cadaverine and putrescine. They're trace chemicals. It's all fuel.

The final piece to the puzzle.

Oh, like you've never eaten cat vomit.

I used to have a dog that loved to eat cat vomit among other cat related "leavings".

Heck, I lived for weeks on Little Friskies. That shit is tasty as hell. It's better than most Superbowl snacks, and way better than 9-Lives. It's not nearly as foul as what you'll find in most Asian markets, like squid snacks and little vacuum packed fish that look so dead they could be zombies.

The only thing I won't eat is a hairball, because I figure if the cat can't digest it than neither can I.

So anyway, aside from learning more about gturner than I ever wanted to know, just don't buy Hershey's and you'll likely be fine.

It is possible you ate chocolate that had melted partially and rehardened later. When that happens I've heard a separation of the ingredients occurs that radically changes the taste.

But that said, American chocolate is virtually all "milk chocolate" which has lots of sugar added. It severely limits the traditional "tartness" that chocolate was historically known for.

Like Mexican food served in the United States. Almost all of it is actually "Tex Mex" which is far,far less spicy than true Mexican food.

Basically all foods served in the U.S. have less of an "edge" to them than the ones they evolved from. Part of that is the simple commercial imperative of making food more palatable to a 100 million person (at least) market.

^Except in Switzerland, that's their cheap stuff for the mass market and proles.

Your parents take you to Disney did they?

Ahh. Bless.

Ha ha. You're nationalist over chocolate? Pathetic.

Your first mistake was going to Florida.

I'm curious about the basis of your comparison. What kind of crap have you eaten?

Um, not sure how you get that message, since Dayton's post essentially trashes US mass market consumerism.

It's true. I just buy Cadburys. And this....my favorite....

The commisary (grocery store) on post has a ton of really good German chocolates & snacks. A lot of soldiers have German wives or have spent time in Germany, so they are big sellers. When I lived in Grafewoehr we used to walk (try that in the US unless you live downtown or in a city) to the bakery all the time for fresh rose hip pastries. Best place to be stationed for a family overseas, bar none.

Typical dumb foreigner.There are many fine chocolate and candy stores in the U.S. It isn't our fault that you chose to buy cheap crap.

So what is considered good chocolate and where can I get some?

I like Snickers bars. But I think I could do better.

Japan is the same way. Trains everywhere. The bus system was a bit wonky to figure out, but smartphones are way cheaper than they were when I first went overseas so you can use Google maps for the schedule. I'd move back in a minute.

There are even places in the US like that. I rarely touch a car aside from weekend excursions. Most things I need are a short walk from my house and/or a short walk from work.

There are some places - but most of the US (especially outside the more densely populated north-east) is sprawling suburbs & strip malls. In Germany it's just a whole different scene. Italy too for that matter. If I ever win the lottery I'll buy a summer home in a small town in Umbria no doubt about it.

I eat Snickers corn on the cob style. several candy bars I liked have disappeared. Summit, Bar None, Smores.