Basically, you're given the budget and the ability to film your own fanfic, or to capture missed opportunities, or to take your favorite show to the next level of greatness. For one episode, you are in complete control of the script, the casting, the location, everything. My idea: TOS Kirk appears on the bridge of the TNG Enterprise, he looks at Picard and says, "What. thehell have. you. donetomyship?" As Picard proceeds to give a long-winded answer, Kirk grabs Picard and repeatedly slams Picard's head into a control panel while simultaneously nailing Troi from behind, shouting, "Who's your captain, baby? Who's your captain?" He takes Picard's bloody form and proceeds to cram it down Worf's throat, shouting, "Klingon's aren't supposed to be pussies!" He then grabs Wesley, pushes him into a turbolift, telling him, "If I ever catch you on the bridge again, I'm firing you out a torpedo tube. Tell your mom to be naked and in my quarters in 15 minutes." Facing Data he gives the following order, "Lay in a course for the closest star system, find something dangerous and kill it!" After banging Dr. Crusher, he finds Wesley and stuffs him into a torpedo tube anyway, making damn sure that Wesley hits the nearest star.
It's not my fave, but I like it and watch on occasion, and that's NCIS. Thought it'd be entertaining if they did an ep where in Plot A Gibbs and diNozzo had to help out another agency and were joined with a hulking black guy with a gold fetish and his slightly loopy partner. You then get the entire ep with diNozzo making A-Team references and none of the others getting it, frustrating him. Plot B would have McGee seconded out to a team headed by Richard Dean Anderson, with him making MacGyver and Stargate comments, also with the rest of the team not getting it. I can imagine it now: McGee: Are you going to 'MacGyver' it sir? RDA: Whats a 'MacGyver' McGee?
It would be much more fun to fix the shows that aren't my favorites. Law & Order CI : Vincent D'Onofrio's character quits the force Family Guy : The pedophile goes to jail Deadliest Catch : A very special OSHA episode NCIS : Lose goth girl's pig-tails Lost : Explain anything American Dad : The alien dies CSI Miami : An episode that doesn't end with a confession Numb3rs : A case that has nothing to do math The Mentalist : The mentalist gets beaten to death with a tire iron
Not a favorite show (I hate it) but would be completely redeemed - "That 70's Show". Mila Kunis + Laura Prepon, lost in the woods while winter hiking...... must do anything to stay warm. Do the math. "Friends" - a weird plague hits New York, and only the three girls survive....the infrastructure breakdown means no heat in their apartment - they must do anything to keep warm. The "Friends" girls invent a time machine and end up in the woods in 1970's Wisconsin, find two lost girls.
Emboldened after successfully disposing of Calli, Tory tracks down Starbuck, cracks her a solid one in the jaw, and blasts her out of a fucking Viper launch tube. Then she makes out with Duella.
The original Battlestar Galactica - final episode. The rag-tag fleet makes it to Earth and discovers it's Gil Gerard's Buck Rogers in the 25th Century Earth. Cylons arrive and are promptly blown to shit by the combined Galactica and Earth Defense Directorate forces in a mother of all space battles.
Deep Space Nine The entire crew is playing Monopoly. A fine time is had by all. Until Worf lands on Boardwalk. And Quark has a hotel there... Star Trek: The Next Generation Another time travel to the 20th century episode. Troi, Riker and LaForge beam down to a college campus in the 1990s to seek out a famous scientists. Unfortunately, the ships computer makes a mistake in outfitting the away team. The three stroll through the campus with Troi dressed as a flower child right out of Woodstock Riker as a gold chained, bell bottomed wearing disco man. LaForge with an enormous afro...
Some thoughts on shows I watch... In Plain Sight - have Marshall get a clue and quit pining after Mary. Sure, she's a good partner and a great U.S. Marshall, but she's neither hawt nor appealing enough personality-wise. Plus the whole "fall for your partner" thing is overdone. If Marshall HAS to fawn over one of the cast members, make it Mary's sister, who is WAY hotter and more fun. Burn Notice - expand Michael's circle of friends a bit. C'mon, one ex, his mom, and one old "spy buddy"? Dude's gotta have more connections than that. Royal Pains - Divya. Nekkid. 'nuf said. Warehouse 13 - expand the roster...add 2 more agents. Make the teams flexible, so that Mika teams w/ new guy and Pete teams w/ new girl occasionally. Have them go to tropical destinations more frequently, so Mika can wear a bikini. NCIS - have an ep where the workload is super light, so the entire team goes to offsite training. Have lots of after-hours drinking & partying, and lots of character revealing stuff. Clue us in on Gibbs' latest redhead squeeze, and whether or not Tony and Ziva, Tony and Kate, McGee and Abby have ever done the deed.
I would immediately hand over the reins to Steven Moffat, because he's better at this than me, and arguably even better than Russel T. Davies. Since that has already happened, I am now going to take the rest of the day off, but remember you have me to thank come next spring.
Warehouse 13/Lost Room crossover, in three episodes. Ep1: Warehouse 13 Peter and Myka are in New Mexico, investigating reports of hallucinations connected with a strange "object" Artifact Artie has never heard of. The two agents run down a fanatical group of teenagers rambling about the "Reunification" and acting strangely. Claudia shows up in New Mexico, with several Artifacts, and a warning that there's something big happening. She unfurls a map of the US, marked with the recent Artifact sightings and the Reunification gangs. There's a clear line being drawn towards Gallup. Suddenly, the door behind them opens to a motel room, and three strangers step out. Joe Miller, Jennifer Bloom, and Wally Jabrowski. Ep2: Lost Room It's been two years since Joe Miller threw away the Motel Key, and he and Anna are living in secret with Jennifer Bloom, trying to live a normal life. One morning, a knock comes on the door, and Wally comes in, freaking out. There are Objects showing up everywhere, and a war in the open between Kreutzfeld and the Reunification. Joe starts to say that he's gotten out of the Object business, but Jennifer jumps up and volunteers them. Anna is taken to Detective Lee and the three former Object-users find their way to one of the Legion's hideouts, along with a bundle of mostly-useless Objects. By combining the Clock with the Spoon and the Shaving Mirror, they discover a way to recover the Motel Key by drawing it through the Shaving Mirror. With the Motel Key in hand, the three contact Suzie Kang (hiding from both sides of the Object War) and locate "someone who can help". Pictures are handed over, and the New Doormen (as Kang jokingly refers to them as) appear in front of two Secret Service agents and a tech-wiz. Ep3: Unification The two groups, having apparently related their experiences while sitting in the Hotel Room, go to Artie. Artie berates Peter and Myka for bringing not one, but three uncleared 'civilians' to the Warehouse, and Mrs. Fredrick appears, dispelling his arguements. She explains that, apparently, the Hotel Key was in possession before the New Doormen stole it, and thus deputizes them until they can return the Key to the Warehouse. Artie is upset that Mrs. Fredrick had kept something in the Warehouse secret from him, and Peter and Myka point out that he's getting a bit of his own medicine here. Claudia, Wally, Artie, and Mrs. Fredricks work to plot out the Object trail as it heads towards Gallup. Artie reluctantly arms the Warehouse Agents and the New Doormen with several artifacts, arming himself along with them. Wally is pleased to find out that he will be needed in the Warehouse to coordinate alongside Claudia the move against the unknown Object-Artifact waking up the Objects across the globe. Peter, Joe, Myka, Artie, and Jennifer use the Motel Room to head to New Mexico. There's a huge gathering around the Motel, where Order converts are mobbed around Kreutzfeld, scarred and pale, facing down Ruber with what appears to be a shoulder holster showing over ceremonial robes. Ruber and Kreutzfeld seem to be at a standstill, the latter with an eyepatch and apparently without an Object. The five make their way through the crowd, getting through to the open circle around the two ringleaders. Myka and Joe both try to take point, irritated at the other. Peter points this out to Jennifer, the four arguing a little ignoring the two Big Bads while Artie is perturbed. Kreutzfeld and Ruber both argue with Joe to help them against the other. All the unaccounted-for Objects seem to be piled between the two ringleaders, glowing faintly and warping space and sound faintly. Artie takes out a small, plastic card from a pouch and holds it at his side. Ruber starts to point an Object at Peter, and Artie counters by holding up what looks like an old driver's license. The Object Ruber is holding doesn't activate, and the prophet of the Objects is stunned. Immediately, the warping of space ends, and it seems that the Artifact causing the activation of the Objects was the eyepatch that Kreutzfeld is wearing and is, to Joe's surprise, the same eyepatch that the Occupant wore when he was killed in the Room. Joe punches him, taking note of the license, and Kreutzfeld thinks that this means the New Doormen are on his side against the now angry and violent crowd of Order converts. Claudia, back at the Warehouse, discovers a hidden file in the Warehouse's archive. Knowing that Artie prefers hard copies, she and Wally find a file hidden under the desk with a listing of what Wally proclaims to be "all the Objects, including their uses and theories on combonations". Claudia muses that Artie must know more about the Objects than he let on, and might have one or two of his own. Artie bends over, takes an Object from Ruber's shoulder holster, and presses the license against it. Suddenly, the crowd is confused and disperses randomly. The six players talk for a moment in terse atmosphere, and Kreutzfeld makes a grab for the license. Artie, Myka, Peter, Joe, and Jennifer all Tesla him at the same moment, leaving him to the disillusioned Order converts and the few Order members still around. Joe, true to his word, hands Artie the Motel Key, to Jennifer's despair. Peter is jazzed about using the Motel Key, Myka and Jennifer discuss the aftermath-to-come of the Object War, and Artie mentions, on the way back into the Motel Room, that Mrs. Fredricks will probably never let the Motel Key see the light of day. The five enter the Motel Room, talking amongst themselves, and the door closes behind them with Peter asking Artie about "two more Agents".
Married with Children - The Bundys go on vacation and meet the Malloys from Unhappily Every After, fun ensues. Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Tony Vincenzo goes out on a story with Kolchak. While he sees the monster of the week, he can't deal with the reality of it. But it gives the viewer an understanding of why Vincenzo puts up with Kolchak. Full House - Not a favorite show, I just always wanted to see the postman go crazy and gun the family down. M*A*S*H - The episode where BJ died an excruciating death. Doctor Who - Someone incorporates that youtube clip where the piano drops on Rose at Bad Wolf bay into the real episode. I Dream of Jeannie - The episode where Major Nelson tells Dr. Bellows hasn't he ever heard of knocking before he enters someones home.
I'll go for a small one here. Smallville, season three, episode 10, Whisper. At the end of the episode, Clark decides to keep on wearing the glasses.
