Zombie Attack loadout kit for under $23k offered by Fuzzy Bunny Movie Gun Inc.

Link.

My birthday's coming up in a couple of months if anyone is taking notes.

Please, I could construct an equally decent product for much less money.

However, the ACU uniforms would be purple and neon green.

And zombies are attracted to bright colors.

That's why you let the people who bought them run the other way. My forces run after them, you get away to live longer.

You don't have to outrun the zombies, just the dumbass in the purple jumpsuit.

Zonbies aren't attracted by color. Their attracted by movement and heat and smell and sound.

You could dress up like a Ninja in a black room or you could dress up like a circa-1993 G.I. Joe action figure with bright green neon camo in the middle of Main Street at noon on a sunny day and the difference would be nil.

If this uniform isn't bite-proof, it's shit.

You'd think more people would read World War Z or the Zombie Survival Guide.

And no Lobotomizer?

Humans have been shown to react to color, movement, all of these. It's a fundamental part of the brain, and the reason that traffic lights and certain colored signs grab our attention.

Zombies are human in some fashion, and therefore respond to the same stimuli. Their brains are similar enough that there shouldn't be a difference.

Zombie Survival Guide lost all credibility when it said using fire against zombies was a bad idea because A) it takes to long to burn them up and B) because a burning zombie might catch something else on fire. While those are both logically correct, it is negated by the fact that using fire against the undead is just shiny.

I know there's a fun factor in fire, Jeff, but remember, lots of people didn't have time then for recreation zombie burning.

I'll make time.

However, we're working on a chemical that, when imbibed by a zombie, makes them flame resistant. Flaming, intact zombies.

No you won't. We'll miss you.

While true, I am far more worried about the fact that it only provides protection against 100 zombies. What the hell kind of weaksauce zombie invasion involves only 100 zombies!? No kind of zombie invasion is going to have that few zombies, I'm telling you that right now. That protection won't do shit.

I'll stick with my Standard Infantry Rifle and the 7.62mm Cherry PIE ammo.

Yep. When you have a full chain swarm going, there could be millions coming at you.

The Zombie Survival Guide tends to advise against zombie-proof suites (or at least armor). You start taking too many chances and they inevitably fail.

Yes, I know, but when we fought the Z's we were issued blue BDU's that were laced with bite-proof Kevlar. We'd form firing lines and start popping the Z's before they could get close.

But sometimes the biteproofing really came in handy... Ever try shaking a really, REALLY determined Lethesoda from your ankle?

Unfortunately that won't stop the crazy LaMOE types.

Don't even get me started on LAMOE's...

Wahine: LaMOE (pronounced lay-moe) stands for "Last Man On Earth" - the crazed gun nuts who carved out fortresses for themselves in the midst of the Z's and started shooting at everything that moves, including us infantry grunts.

Psh, ankles?

I go for the kidneys.

It didn't have a sharksuit so no money from me.