Do wives share the blame for their cheating husbands?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23575221/

Despite the knee-jerk reaction from horrified PC zombies, I agree with Dr. Laura to an extent. You have to look at the relationship dynamic to understand why one or both of the partners are reaching out to other people for the emotional and sexual intimacy they need.

Of course, I also think there are useless, reprehensible man-whores who think it's their birthright to be a "playa." Hiding condoms from the multiple girlfriends and all that....

Well, I tend to believe that Dr. Laura is having numbers problems, and seized an opportunity to light a fire under her ratings.

There's an angle there that critics of Schlessinger's have failed to point out. Maybe, or maybe not, a wife has some contributory culpability for her husbands indiscretions, and I would suppose that can only be decided upon a case by case basis. It certainly cannot be summarily accepted as truth. On the other hand, what this kind of justification does is to pussify the man (yes, pussify is my own word, if you don't like it, fuck off). The problem with marriages, if not relationships in general, is the willingness (or lack thereof) of those involved to take their commitments seriously. People rush in to a marriage, eager to say "'til death do us part" without giving due consideration to what that is supposed to mean. They're not even really considering the predicate "for better or worse" even though they've giddily uttered those words just seconds before agreeing to the lifelong gig.

If a male is truly a "man", he shouldn't have to rely on his wife to make him feel like one.

Moreover, if the relationship has deteriorated to the point that he's out shopping for a high-priced whore to sate his animal lusts, he should be "a man" and drop by to see his attorney to file for a divorce before stopping at the ATM to get hooker money.

There's some little merit in Schlessinger's contention that a wife should attend to her husband, but, as they say, it takes two to tango. It's a pretty safe bet if the lady is failing in her wifely duties that there's some reason, and that reason is somehow related to her husband. In a healthy relationship, there's a give-and-take, a synergistic dynamic that, while flawed, sustains the marriage over bumpy roads.

If that's gone, and the man is in such a position to see that it's lacking, he needs to butch up and fix it, or halt everyone's suffering and end the relationship before playing indoor sports with some bimbo named Bambi whose sole appeal are the twin flesh zeppelins moored to her chest.

Meh, just another silly bit of tabloid journalism. Or rather daytime talk show pablum.

"Infidelity strikes! Who's to blame?"






This inane rehash brought to you by Former Governor Eliot Spitzer, Former Governor Jim McGreevey, Oprah and the letter W.

I dunno. If you say that wives share the blame for their cheating husband, it's a slippery slope to saying that they share the blame for their abusing husband.

Same applies for cheating wives.

Well, I guess it's true that nothing happens in a vacuum, but some people are just jackasses, and sometimes assholes cheat because they are assholes, not because there's anything wrong with the wife.

Apples and oranges.

It's possible for either spouse to have abetted adulterous behavior whereas there's never any kind of justification for spousal (or other) physical abuse.

It may be a slippery slope, but each of these behaviors will land you at a different chair lift.

Oh for fuck's sake!

Why is that bitch still on the air? She's not a doctor in any way, shape or form. She doles out "advice" as if she actually knows what the fuck she's talking about, when the truth is she's simply spewing her own hateful, ultra-right wing warped view of the world. The fact that a majority of her callers actually listen to her bile just proves that there's enough stupid people out there for her to keep getting a paycheck.

"Dr." Laura is evil, plain and simple. Nothing she says should be given any credence whatsoever.

When marriages are troubled it is generally both parties to blame.

As for actually cheating, sexual infiidelity has little to do with sexual attraction.

The vast majority of prostitutes are unattractive at best.

But men often go to prostitutes because the want sex with absolutely no sense of responsibility or obligation

Yes. By all means. You disagree with her so she must be vilified, then silenced.

Way to stay, "Above the swamp"

Yeah, they want fun, not worry, is that such a crime? If a guy is getting it at home, then he won't think about prostitutes.

Pretty much yes. A troubled situation is a culmination in which both parties contribute and almost always both are partly culpable.

Individual actions taken as a result of the situation are owned by the individual.

If you dispatch a spouse, no matter how despicable they were, you are to blame for that action. The law may mitigate your level of responsibility and associated punishment for the action, even all the way down to nothing at all (and occasionally, rightfully so), but that choice is still all yours.

Sex with your wife or even a committed girlfriend always means some amount of responsibility because you are emotionally committed.

Incidentally, I've read that women are often willing to tolerate a husband who sleeps around more than one has a long running affair with only one woman because a man sleeping around means the man has no emotional attachment to the women.

As with everything involving human beings, there's no way you can draw a general rule here. If a guy's wife doesn't show him any affection, then maybe that's a contributory factor - though decency would suggest he should go for a divorce on those grounds (or get her to go with him to counselling or SHOCK! just talk it out with her) before seeking attention elsewhere.

Ultimately, though, if he's in a relationship where he's getting it on a regular basis and still goes elsewhere, who fucking cares if the wife didn't "make him feel like her hero"? She's screwing you, pal, not Han Solo. That alone indicates she's somewhat satisfied with who you are. That you can't be without an echo gallery isn't HER problem.

You'd have to define "sleeps around" to draw a generic conclusion from that. If it's one other woman and it's a brief deal, then I've got friends who've been in that situation, forgave the guy and are now engaged. If it's several women in quick succession, I don't know if they'd have been quite so willing to forgive.

I don't think it's fair to look at this from the aspect of one sex only, as both sexes cheat.

Ultimately, the party doing the cheating is the one that should be branded with the Scarlett letter.

With that said, the other party CAN have involvement in driving the cheater to cheat - perhaps they are unbiblically withholding themselves without the consent of the other party. Perhaps they are not filling the other persons love tank using that person's love language. It's hard to say what all contributing factors are (or as Michael Scott would say, "Who knows what's on the mind of a tiger? We can't tell - we don't have the technology.")

....Do you write fanfiction, by any chance?

Being a frigid, bitchy wife can certainly make you partially to blame for the marriage falling apart, but no one should be blamed for lying but the liar.

And that's just it.

Every situation is unique. Nobody says anything if a woman escapes her abusive husband and sleeps with someone else, nor should they.

That's a pretty common receipe for cheating by EITHER side.

Then again, some chicks are just whores.

I have known a few guys that have cheated on their wives and I thought each one was a total ass for doing it and each one eventually got caught. Some of the lies they told were beyond belief. One guy went on a company trip to mexico and got a gal down there and then later he decided to go back on his own. Told his wife that the company was sending him to china (he also went with another guy down there that I am pretty sure was doing the same thing). Anyways the wife got concerned about something and called the company to find out the hotel where he was staying in China so she could get hold of him.

Read the Five Love Languages, you damned whore.

Right backatcha.

In your world, calling someone a whore is a joke?

In Apostle's world, KIRK1ADM is an erudite intellectual.

That tells you all you need to know about Apostle's world.

In my world, accusing someone of writing fanfic is one of the most grievous insults one can make. It's like saying you do for fun what folks endure from Garamet's "job."

Right..

Too far, too far.

Poor Apostle. He tries so hard to fit in and utterly fails. Like the kid with [-]Assburgers[/-] Aspergers Syndrome. Sad, really.

Your world makes me sad Apostle, dial it back some, will you?

"Wife! It is your god-given duty to spread your legs!"