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A small sample of the science involved, for those who care

http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/series/explorer/4091/Videos/07159_00#tab-Videos/07159_00

Up until 2007 or so, I went to a church of about4-500 members, the majority of which were married couples between say 25 and 45 almost all of them with kids.

In the five years or so I attended that church I watched easily 2 dozen or more of those couple divorce, not a few of them to date or later marry from among other members of that same congregation.

In virtually every case where I'm aware of the circumstances, the spark for the divorce was that the "man" in the family was caught cheating. Whatever the case and whoever sinned first, there are nevertheless MANY children out there who live with a step parent or a single parent because "men" put, frankly, carnal pleasure about the responsibility you crow about.

Now, maybe there was misery at home - my brother eventually divorced his wife because she was the Queen of all Bitches and my only question was what took him so long. But the fact remains, MANY divorces arise because someone wanted to have sex - and VERY few of the people who would call me selfish ever gave the same lecture to Romeo.

Even those his misstep is far less likely to be critical to his sanity than mine.

Bring your barf bags!

The people you speak of are equally as sinful as you are. As we all are for that matter.

I should totally get me some vulcan ears.

I see you as more of a Klingon, actually. Maybe a Romulan.

Yeah, but I'm not doing all that funky shit to my forehead.

I wasn't aware that educational information about things like divergent genetic structures was a subject that you found vomit inducing. While i apologize for having caused you distress, might I recommend you seek medical attention for your gastrointestinal disorder?

then why do they not receive the disapproval and rebuke of society that people like myself tend to

Why, for instance, is the "Christian Right" inflamed by the idea that gays might marry but blithly tolerant of rampant divorce among their own, let alone among the population in general?

Oh they SAY their against it - but let an "unrepentant" gay man try to join their church and there will be a war, let an "unrepentant" divorced man - even one who was obviously guilty of adultery - come among them and the disapproval expressed will be slight, often contained only to the pastor of if even that.

Why?

And you know what? You ask those kids, and for the most part, they KNOW that mom and dad hate each other guts and wish they would just divorce and get it over with. That kind of a family is as bad as if not worse than a split family where both parents are happy and enjoying their lives.

Amen to that.

Please explain how that is nauseating, without saying the guy is a freak. What part of his situation is his fault? Frankly, considering what he's had to go through and I would assume is still having to go through, I'd call it in a way tragic, and closeminded prickish assholes like you don't make his obviously difficult life any easier!

My apologies Nova. I should have watched the end of the video more closely, as that's who I was referring to.

Though I guess the exact same comments can be applied to your defense.

I'll watch my pronouns more closely.

Chest Rockwell's ranting seems quite...Flashlightian.

Why? Are you taking your shirt off?

oops! didn't realize you were referring to the video.

Context matters!

How would Nova remaining a man when he was clearly uncomfortable and miserable b a benefit to his wife and children? Like someone else pointed out, they'd all be living a sham life. The kids certainly don't benefit from being lied to, even if the truth about things does hurt.


Captain J, gotta agree with Jenee's posts about sham marriages. My mom is in one, and even through I was an adult when it took place, I still lived in the house and had to deal with the bullshit that goes along with said sham. Thankfully, I had an out. I can only imagine how that must be like for young children with no escape and no voice.

And who were the men cheating with? Could it be......women?
Maybe your church needs to start a neighborhood program teaching women to stop fucking married men. Just sayin'

My point regarding marriages was not referring to cases where parents fight and make life hell. I do know of cases where parents did not love eachother but did not want to put their kids through the hell of divorce. They stayed together peacefully until the kids were 18 then went their separate ways. Left to their own devices they would have parted much earlier. It was to these types of cases I was referring.

^
Wouldn't that be kind of worse? At least when the parents are acting more immature than the kids, the children see it coming and are somewhat prepared for and even welcome the inevitable split. But being eighteen and expecting to come home to mommy and daddy on Christmas break to find that hey, they don't love each other and we're getting a divorce?

Granted older children don't need their parents together like a younger child, but that doesn't mean they don't feel it any less when they split up.

^ No. The people I know acted in the best interests of their children. It's only in our modern world that "love" is the primary reason for marriage. A partnership dedicated to the children can work quite well for them and even the parents.

I'm skeptical that most people in this generation would even consider that idea, or make any effort to live such a life if they did.

Guess I'm a jaded bitch.

Dunno which is sadder, this Gen not doing it often or you not seeing those who would.

However, there are still people with a sense of commitment and a sense of right and wrong and a willingness to do the right thing.

Sadly, you are right. Generation Y is far and wide the greatest inverse of previous generations. Gen Y (more of them than any other/ I don't want to blanket statement this) put SELF 1st, DUTY and OBLIGATIONS 2nd. If I had a dollar for everytime I heard this back in HR, I'd never have to work again. "Sorry about yesterday. I woke up with a headache and just couldn't come in. Do I have any personal time left that I can use" It's called Excedrin, asshole. And unless you're someone who gets MIGRAINES, I hardly classify a headache as being sick. And I'm Gen Y.

And Nova, if I "may" ask, you used to be Shep IIRC, who was a pastor(?) How, if any, has this changed your relationship with God? Did it involve alot of soul searching, or is this something you've been reconciling all your life? I don't ask to be rude or uncouth, I'm just curious.

Or am I thinking of Bulldog? IDK. Sometimes I just can't keep it all straight.

I KNOW I KNOW. Rimshot.

Don't forget about the rapists. Damn women and their luring rapists to attack them. Ted would have loved this post.

Those days are over Captain J. Women are no longer dependent on men for survival (thank God) and raising a family is no longer the main drive for either men or women.

^ Maybe in your sad world (not referring to the man supporting woman thing). In some places honor, sacrifice and responsibility still exist. Again, not referring to bad family situations here divorce is preferrable to constant fighting and abuse. This has nothing to do with man supporting woman. The fact that you think it does is sad.

I'm not saying people shouldn't stay together. I'm saying they shouldn't stay together out of honor.

Most people today are lucky enough to be in a situation where they can be together out of love, not obligation.

Jenee, you're wrong. My fiance expects me to support our family after we're married, and I consider this one of my most sacred charges. She expects me to lead the family - another sacred charge.

I never understand why people with failed marriages consider themselves experts on marriage.

I'll never understand why people who've never been married consider themselves experts on any marriage, let alone failed marriages.