I Am Not a Dual - AMA

I am not a dual, despite having been accused of being one several times. Is this because you guys don't get new members often, or because I sound like someone?

Anyway, I'm not a dual. Ask me anything!

If you were a dual, whose would you be?

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen Swallow?

What do you do for a living? Where do you work?

What was your childhood nickname?

SSN?

Bank and account number?

I wish I was a dual, because presumably I would be an alternate identity of someone much more interesting than I am.

You're probably just @Soma again.

Meanwhile, we have a dual at TBBS - Samuel. Who is he? Place your bets!

Don't always think interesting is better. You could be interesting like Dayton and that would suck.

Probably that asshole ohdeve.

Kids? Pets?
Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Do you sing in the shower? Dance with the vacuum?
Any irrational fears?
What's your knowledge gap? (Mine is technology - I fail at computers)
Brand loyal to anything?
Shittiest car you've ever owned?
Pepsi or Coke products?

@Asyncritus? Is that you?

John Castle? Although you haven't melted down yet like a huge internet pussy

What is your stance on fat women on public transit?

Is there a way to prove I am not a dual of this Castle person?

Provide a drug test that shows you're meth-free.

Tell us you vape from your asshole and are this century's worst author and it ain't even close

I vape from my asshole and am this century's worst author and it ain't even close.

Can't be. Several thousand words short.

That's just what John Castle would say if he were pretending to not be John Castle.

1 kid...5 pets (3 cats, 2 dogs).
Kind of neutral on the smell of gasoline.
I make up songs in the shower, don't dance with the vacuum.
All of my fears are rational.
My knowledge gap is mathematics.
Don't have any brand loyalties but I don't like Apple.
Shittiest car was a Dodge Omni.
Probably Pepsi.

That is just what a dual would want us to think.

pepsi? Kill the Dual!!!!

while not directed at me, it might be fun to answer this battery of questions:
1) two kids, two cats, one mistress for now, unless she chews through the ropes!
2) premium or cheap gas?
3) I dance with the vacuum (plugged in of course!) in the shower, and bath with a plugged in toaster - it's quite a morning time saver!
4) the number 13 - that's why my house is only 12 stories tall.
5) Fifth Century African spot-welding - wouldn't you know when I went on Jeopardy this came up on "Final Jeopardy" and I lost it all?
6) Barilla pasta - in a blindfold test I might not tell the difference, so maybe it's the cool looking boxes!
7) used 3 speed manual (on the column) truck with a big painting on the side with Robert Crumb style bell bottomed guys saying KEEP ON TRUCKIN'
8) vague question! Do I indulge in both Pepsi/Coke products or do I have to choose between the two brands?
If so, I can't tell the difference, but with either one it's diet/zero calorie. You know how many fucking calories are in soda? I'll never get down to 155 pounds
slamming those all day. 10 more pounds to go BTW!

Don't worry about it. Every new member gets accused of being a dual. It's just a thing.

Pro.

Well, he’s not my dual!

Check again.

That's exactly what a dual would say.

Prove to us you are not dayton's dual and mail me your feet.