You get what you pay for. Always take care of your bartender and your bartender will take care of you. Wear body armor while filming sting rays. Don't sell more than one of your kidneys.
* Having is not as always a pleasing a thing as wanting. * Love everybody, and somebody will love you back. -J.
Never use the glassware or coffeepot in your hotel room. Do you ever see the maids with glassware on their cart? Nope. They wipe down the glasses and put them right back where they were. Flight attendants and other wimmin commonly use the coffee pot to wash their pantyhose in on the road- FACT. Also, when you get into your hotel room, ditch the comforter on the bed. The sheets get changed once in a while. The bedspread- never. Don't take a black light to one of those things unless you want to be SERIOUSLY grossed out. Hotel rooms are only slightly more sanitary than airline cabins, and that ain't saying much at all.
All it takes to change your life for the better is a little perspective change. Shoot for the moon, even if you never get there, you'll land among the stars.
asking for forgiveness is better than seeking permission. except when you're married and wanting to bone the teenage temp in a mini-skirt, in which case neither is a winning option. also, when having illicit sex in the office, ensure any accidental photocopies get shredded...
also: morals are like nice shoes - useless in deep shit. no one on their deathbed ever groused about not spending enough time in the office, something to remember when balancing work and life. never trust a hippy
Most people don't recognize opportunity, because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Nothing is free, there is always a catch.
Or jizz phobia, or you like your coffee to be essentially strained through some strange woman's pantyhose. Although some guys would probably dig that.
Man, whoever taught you Astronomy ought to be SHOT! Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, maybe you'll get lucky and end up in geosynchronous orbit...but more likely you'll just burn up during re-entry.
And room service. I once stayed at the hotel across from Texas Motor Speedway north of Dallas/Fort Worth and the room service menu listed a fifth of Jack Daniels for $75!
Choose your friends for their company, your acquaintences for their entertainment, and your enemies for their intellect.
On a related topic, one of the greatest skills a person can develop is the ability to see obstacles as opportunities.
Inhale, pause, exhale Blame the dog Soak the soil before digging a hole Smile and nod Righty tighty lefty loosey Swim Women don’t have Adam’s apples Flossing is more important than brushing Drink lots of water Pretending to be deaf almost always works Chew then swallow Wear comfortable shoes Never court sympathy Don’t spit into the wind
Always wear your sunscreen, and no matter what a stripper tries to tell you, there is no sex in the champagne room.
Unless you're digging in heavy clay-based soil Hope you never run into a left-threaded screw! Ann Coulter disagrees!
Irregardless of what the manual says, right of way goes to: 1) The bigger car 2) The crappier car This is even more true if there are no cops around.
Why? Why use irregardless instead of regardless? I have to know. WTF is the point of the extra two letters? Does it mean something different? WHY????????????????
Hmmmm. All purpose advice. Never split tens. When you go to eat at a place with a food in its name, order that food. Always keep your cell phone charged. Don't jump on the first job/mate that comes along. Go to college. Don't panic. Don't gamble more than you can afford to lose. Don't eat Eggs Benedict at a buffet. Travel. Listen to Miles Davis. Call your parents. They worry. Don't trust everyone, but trust someone. Try everything once, except heroin. Never mix, never worry. Listen. Drink water. Stay away from egg salad.
