All Purpose Advice

Not true!

That's the only way I can get my bearings in unfamiliar territory.

Now, if you're giving directions for a place in the same neighborhood, I want "turn right at the BK" type directions, but if you are going on a road trip, I want NSEW directions.

Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't spit into the wind.

^No Lone Ranger advice?

That is all.

Never Regret because everything happens for a reason!

Never write down what you can say.
Never say what you can nod.
Never nod what you can wink.
Never wink what you can smile.

Clean as you go.



(Hey they don't have to be funny to be true)

Always try and fuck the otherhalf during PMT. The pent up tension makes sex great and relives the foul mood.

Exactly!!!!

Conversations w/ my wife along these lines usually go something like this...

Me; Okay, get to ________ road, then turn South.
She: Is that left or right?
Me: Well, which way are you coming from?
She: Huh?
Me:
She: Why can't you give me simple directions?
Me: :soldiershoot:

Now would probably be a bad time for me to admit that without sunlight or a compass I have very little sense of direction.

If you're a guy, and someone asks you how you're doing, it's almost never a good idea to answer "Fergilicious."

That reminds me of something in my grandparents house:

"Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have"

I've learned two valuable things about work (from the workers):

1. If you're not busy, pretend you're doing something. This keeps you from being assigned actual work.

2. Don't worry about anyone but yourself. Someone's late? Fine. You're not, so why should you care?

You don't need to worry about pregnancy if you don't use that hole.

Wish I had those fuckin coworkers.

Wal-Mart was full of busybody gossipy little snitches.

Everyone had to be all fuckin paranoid.