American Invasion of England Imminent

Attention citizens of the UK: guard your young men and lock up your liquor cabinets, because the Cheeky Monkey is comin' to jolly old England at the end of the week, and I'm going to claim your little island as the honorary 51st State.

I'm extraordinarily excited. I'll be there for 8 days, and I will be meeting someone there that i've been wanting to meet for a while, now.....

While there, I hope to charm the pants off an Englishman (literally ), and also to act as a spelling missionary, and teach the local population how to spell words like color, recognize, and program correctly, and without all those extraneous letters.

Anyhoooooo..... I've got some ideas for where to go, what to do..... gonna spend some time in London, also gonna take a trip out to Wales and see the fabulous Snowdonia National Park. At some point I'm going to see Stonehenge.... the culmination of a lifelong fascination with this weird circle of rocks (don't ask). I also plan to see Colchester, the oldest town in Britain. I'll be making a pilgrimage out to Canterbury to see ye olde catheydral, and see what Chaucer was making such a fuss about with his Tales. And I'd like to see those fancy white cliffs on the Dover coast, if i get a chance.

I don't have plans to venture very far north, at least not this time around. I'd like to visit Scotland one day..... just not one day in January..... besides, my Scottish tourism book says Sheep-Buggering Season is May - August, and I'd like to observe the national passtime. So I'm already planning a trip in the summertime, probably next year. But if anybody has any suggestions for stuff to see in the South, I'd surely appreciate it.

Fuck. Why England? Go someplace exotic that ends in "-land" I hear Oregon is nice.

Well, Wales is beautifull. A fun game I like to play in Wales is "How the fuck do you say the name of this town?". Colchester wasn't all that interesting as I remember. There's still some Roman ruins though, which is nice. Stonehenge was kinda cool but you can't really spend all day there. London can consume as much of your time as you'll allow. I'd focus there and pick 3 or 4 more rural sights to go see.

Oh and expect the weather to suck inconsistently. Bring clothes for all temperatures. Lastly, always remember that the British love Austin Powers references from American tourists. Cheers and good hunting.

Oh and some safety tips:

1. ALWAYS look both ways when crossing the street. Seems easy but have a few pints and you'll get your ass run over by one of those 200lbs cars.

2. Don't eat Black Pudding

3. When walking on the sidewalk, don't get to close to the road or you'll be smacked by a side view mirror going 40mph spinning me around in circle and smacking myself against a brick wall.

4. Don't just walk into a strip club in Sojo.

5. Keep a close eye on your man. British men, not unlike college girls, are only a few drinks from bisexuality.

6. And lastly, never try to engage a drunk Irishman in conversation. You'll only confuse each other.

Ash, when the hell were you in Colchester?
Cheeky, PM me when you're going to be in town. We should do lunch.

Oh, and Canterbury is beautiful, and easy to walk around. The Cathedral is awe-inspiring.

Of course, Port-LAND is in Oregon.

I wanna go!

Seriously, have a wonderful time Cheeky and take TONS of pics!

Seconded. If you're going to do Stonehenge, you should do Canterbury, too.

Also, hire yourself a car and have a near-death experience at every roundabout!

"Look, kids! Parliament! Big Ben!
...
Look, kids! Parliament! Big Ben!
...
Look, kids! Parliament! Big Ben!
..."

I know..... I'm not retarded. I was being deliberately dense. I just wanted to make him SAY it.

How far south do you want to go? Ansterdam is just a hop away A 6 hour hop if you go by boat, though, since they canceled the fast-ferry connection
Anyway, have fun. The public demands daily pics, though!

My parents live in Essex. I've been to the UK at least 5 times. I think I only went to Colchester once back in '99 or so.

Take some pamplets from the American Dental Association, they'll be appreciated.

Don't forget the nude pictures of you, Summerteeth, [-]Dan Leach[/-] and The Lurker.

Where in Essex? It matters, believe me...

Lets see, they've lived in Hutton, some other place, and now they live in Billaricay (sp?).

England is very high on the list of places I'd like to visit. Have a great time!

Take me in your suitcase!

England would be amazing... I am going to Ireland though, sometime around the summer I suppose...

Don't buy the crap from the gift shops in the middle of london, costs twices as much and if you are going to do any shopping now is the best time as they still have all the sales on.

Just remember the best indian food is NOT in India...it's in London! "Once it hits your lips, it's so good!" Take advantage of London...it's f'ing expensive but so awesome! Never been but I've heard Madame Tussauds Wax Museum is a waste of time! Have fun! Be safe!

have fun

Been there. It was pretty cool. I used to go to London every 3 months or so when I was stationed in England.

Madame Tussaud's used to be good when I was a kid, but it's massively over-priced now, IMHO. The New York one is much better.

I think I would be too tempted to bring my zippo into a wax museum... best I never take that risk.

I love it here. i'm currently getting my right nipple sucked by a hot Englishman. As we speak. Not even kidding.

Know who it is?.... I'll give you a hint........ he brings good things to life.

:england2: :wales: :uk: :england:



god, i love england. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Dan is finally getting some???