Apology for The pain of a Candlelight Vigil for Stickies

After a good morning mass, Charlemayn gathers his Toadies for counsel. Oblivious to the grief to come...

Is this the original, or the woke reboot?

(now it's RR)

Charlemayn speaks. His Toadies counsel looking the gift horse in the mouth.

Roland has his say. He reminds Charlemayn of Marsilion's prior acts of treachery. He advises revenge. A dish served hot.

This is awesome I think we broke Steve.

This thread is dildos.

Exactly 38 dildos precisely arranged for optimal efficiency.

Precisely arranged!

Count Ganelon speaks up. The lone voice preaching forgiveness.

Like you could. It is more like you bored him into talking to himself.

Naimon speaks next. He agrees with the treacherous Ganelon, Marsilion is defeated.

For an extra treat, a strapping young lad singing La Chanson in olde French.

Naimon offers himself as return emissary. Charlemayn declines. Who shall take his reply to Marsilion?

After this I'm doing The Illiad.

The gallant Roland offers himself as return emissary. Another toady speaks up and shoots him down. Charlemayn demures.

Turpin speaks up next to offer himself. Charlemayn tells them to sit down and shut up.

Roland suggests they send the treacherous Ganelon. This seems odd. Turns out he's Roland's step dad. Ganelon spits nails. Roland says, "Then send me instead."

I think Roland is being coy.

Your journey to the darkside is almost complete. Now you must kill a bunch of younglings and whine about sand in your mangina. I will be right back, I need to buy a chansaw, some gasoline, and a match. How is your health insurance?

It's good. I'm more worried about liability though...

Ganelon, the soon to be traitor, says the quiet part out loud. Roland hears.

Roland's laughter hearing Ganelon's private thoughts gives Ganelon apoplexy. But just for a moment.

Ganelon speaks to the king: OK I'm your messenger. Messengers have a short lifespan, make sure my real son gets my stuff.

Charlemayn falls for the act.

Just so I know, are you more good with vader black, or robocop blue metallic? Cape or not? Do you want a holster for weapons, or just to get rid of most iof the human parts and have internal weapon storage?

Also, for the liquid used to nourish the brain and small bits of living flesh you have left would your prefer cool mint flavor, or spicy cinnamon.

We have to ask these questions after whiny ass annakin got all pissy and sued the empire. WTF was up with that whiny little slave bitch? We could have just sold him back into slavery and he could have been a doorstop, or table leg or something. We did not have to give him breathing sound effects or blinking lights.

here is another important one. When your body is horribly burned by the pedophile master we give you to, or blown away by an opposing evil gang, it is important we have this information beforehand. Life in the evil empire can be tough.

Anyway, bat nipples or without nipples? If bat nipples, how many, and how would you like them to dispense liquids?

Laser bat nipples that draw the bat symbol on a ceiling or wall.
"Which bat symbol?".
All of them.
Twisting them rotates through Keaton, Bale, Affleck, and Pattinson.

BTW I am stealing your suggestion for our tech guys. If you wish to join the dark side I can suggest a recruitment center for you. We have plenty on the ground floor and do not discriminate against basement dwellers. However, our CHUD detection methods are much stronger than they were pre-atheism was a thing.

I kinda like Doc Ock. But could we do something original? A new design?

Charlemayn offers his Michael Jackson glove and wand to Ganelon. Ganelon accepts, but not before insulting Roland and his buddies in the French way.

Charlemayn shoos him off reminding him he doesn't have his back.

I can put the spider queen on it. She loves weaving neurons into the web.

Don't worry, she experiments on the lower life forms like Hitler, UA, and FF before she gets to the end. You should see where she put hitlers right arm. OMG, I would not touch that shit with my hand.

Dammit, Dildo #12 is out of alignment. Would you guys stop touching them? They take a long time to calibrate.

Where are my goddamn calipers?! How many times do I have to tell all you sandwich welders? If you borrow my tools, put them back in the tool cabinet when you're done!

Ganelon accepts the Michael Jackson glove and proceeds to drop it in the dirt. Bad omen.

A short goodbye