David Archuleta comes out as LGBTQIA+

If you're interested, here's the link, but actually I don't even know who that is. The headline caught my eye because of the LGBTQIA+ part. First it was LGBT, then it was LGBTQ, then LGBTQ+ and now it's LGBTQIA+??? (question marks mine) I had to google it, and apparently there's even a LGBTTQQIAAP (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, ally, pansexual) and my personal favorite, QUILTBAG (queer and questioning, unsure, intersex, lesbian, transgender and two-spirit, bisexual, asexual and aromantic, and gay and genderqueer) I'm not sure how they got 13 words into an eight letter acronym for the latter, but I'm not a quantum physicist*. So my question is...why do we keep trying to add more and more identity groups into one acronym? Are they all genuinely one community? Is dumping them all into one bucket a good thing?

:edit: *Oh I get it now! They all make a quilt...in a bag for some reason!

Archuleta is gay? What a shocker! Nobody could've guessed!

So what does it mean if you're an ally of the LGBTQetc. population? Are allies supposed to be a protected class? I guess I can see why that would be, but it still feels like a white guy being declared an honorary Black man.

Pretty sure they are the ones doing it, as an act of solidarity. Similar to intersectionalism.

Reminds me of a meme going the rounds in that community that has Morgan Freeman on it saying that 'I hate the term homophobia. You aren't afraid of them, you are just an asshole.'

While funny, it kind of misses the point - church types don't use the term homophobia, it's other people in the gay community.

It should be a thing. I had a friend up in the carolinas who was summoned to his bosses office and told if he was ever seen out in public with a drag queen again they would find a reason to fire him. This was Carlinas Health Care system that did that. I did not even work there. So yes bigots will find a way to punish the allies of any group they hate because they are scum like that. The people who liked me at TWC when I came out and was suffering trans hate at work were told if they wanted to remain in good standing and not potentially get laid off during a merger they would not do or say anything about what was going on, or protect me at work.

Racist and prejudiced people will come after you for standing up for someone they hate. Do not ever trust a bigot at your job. People who hate like that will even make stuff up to get ahead and cut you down. Republicans and christians are the worst about smiling and being polite to your face while doing everything they can to hurt you behind your back. (In America)

In terms of the law and discrimination it should be everyone. The people who have tried to hate those who are not specifically mentioned should be stopped. Even people with a criminal past still need a chance to re-enter society. Things like Megans law should be there to warn parents, but they should not make it so a person cannot work or live in an area. Maybe there are certain jobs a person should be excluded from, but it should be really specific and that should be the noted restrictions. It shouldn't be ok to discriminate against someone because they are a furry because furries are not mentioned in the code. No, religious beliefs that say you should discriminate have no place in the general public. You go find yourself a hole and live in it if you need to discriminate against people because of your god.

Am I the only one who for a split second saw David Arquette?
And in that split second, did you think "ohhh, that's why Courtney left him!"?

From the political meme thread:

And to answer your question, no it's not a good thing to lump everything into one bucket.

In the case of discrimination we want to do that and then selectively pick out things we should discriminate against like a nursery school not hiring pedophiles.

It’s mostly just shorthand for not straight and cisgender. It’s easier than naming them individually, and the fact is that if you’re outside the heterosexual, cisgender mainstream, you’re going to be in this group.

Most people just use LGBT+ or LGBTQ+ and the point gets across.

Does it count against me not caring enough to even google who David Archuleta is?

Allies speak up to others who are not in the group. As a black woman I can say it's nothing at all like a white guy being declared a honorary black guy and given N-word privledges.

The best thing an ally can do is to actively listen to concerns, ask how they can help, and then do so in a way that doesn't make it all about them. It takes time to learn how to do it, and I was no exception, but it can be done.

"Queer" is a whole lot faster and the only truly inclusive word in the American English language. It was the word the community used since the 1900s before it became weaponized by bigots and radfems looking for reasons to further divide the community.

Plus, it's simpler to use that when you're someone who has many overlapping identities or even those like myself who aren't sure what label may apply but that "straight" doesn't really fit, because let's be honest, 90 percent of cishets really don't care that deeply about the exact flavor of not-gay you are, you'll just be called gay or lesbian anyway.

Hell, even if you're straight and don't perfor straightness correctly, you'll get punished, i.e. women who don't wear makeup making less than those who do.

Legit had a woman at MINI make up shit about me being a lesbian because I wore the MINI merch t-shirts with jeans instead of coming in dressed up in girly shit. Mind you, it was my very first civilian job after the Navy and even if I had been a pantsuit-esque person before going in....no.

I don't take it as an insult if ppl think im a gay woman, but that kind of rumor is the shit that gets people literally killed in other, less progressive parts of the country.

Yes. It's one of the reasons I still present as masculine despite hating it as much as I do. I have no choice if I want to keep my face in one piece.

They always forget the O...

I do wish there was a word, not loaded with some potentially negative meaning, for "not straight and/or cis" that wasn't a collection of letters in an unwieldy acronym.

Something like "Divergent" but you have to be very careful it's a word that the bigots can't weaponize. But I've yet to see one.

You should lean into it and docs Colbert thing. Go full Drag King just for shits and giggles. I'll pitch in $20 to help you change your name to Guy Cisman.

Different. That's the word I've always been told to use - not specifically in the LGBTQ+ sense because back in the 70s, there wasn't any such thing at least, not in small towns in southern michigan. Anyway, as I said, it's not the label, it's the acceptance. As long as assholes exist, they will turn everything into something not nice.

Which is honestly why it's pointless to even try. For those in my generation, "gay" was the popular slur (as in "That's gay" for anything that considered cringe or stupid). Most had never been called queer until they came online.

Go a Google search for "queer is a slur" discourse and it didn't exist prior to 2014-15 when TERFs started creeping into Tumblr and poisoning the minds of the baby gays there, along with general anti-sex shit and biphobia and bashing of asexuals and aromatic and now for 2021, the anti kink bullshit that's polifered onto Twitter.

It was the word the LGBTQ community chose before bad actors took it over. It's not in the category of racial slurs forced into others. As I've seen @vaspider on Twitter put it "queer is not the slur-our existence is."

"Queer" was a homosexual slur at least as far back as the 70s, probably earlier.

Yep.

It was gay before gay was gay.

LGBTQ people "took it back" beginning in the 80s (the "We're here, we're queer" slogan) but it was definitely an insult/slur before that.

Dr. Reverend Guy Cisman, Professional Lumberjack.

And that's okay.

Pretty much any word that is derogatory to the LGBTQ+ community has been around forever. They just go in and out of fashion.

So, here's a funny story. Back in basic training, there was a woman (I didn't know her well nor ever interacted with her on a one on one basis) who appeared athletic, tomboyish, and basically ... a tall, blonde, angry version of myself. Anyway, one day while sitting around waiting for something, someone called this woman "Butch". I've no idea what the conversation was or what was said prior to my hearing that name in reference to this woman. Which, in my infinitely clueless mind, struck me as hilarious - the word couple with my mental image of this woman. I just laughed. Hard. and nearly got my ass kicked. It was thanks to my friends sitting between her and I that told me what Butch meant and I tried apologizing through the laughter. ... don't remember how that ended - if the drill sergeant walked up or if her friends convinced her to sit down ... anyway, she and I never interacted (it wasn't intentional on my part) the rest of the two months.

Oh good, I was worried no one would catch that!

Seriously, though, I really do hate it here. How I would love to wear what I want to wear, and start to really change my appearance to more match the inside. I'm not a good looking person, but at least I would feel good. Too many people around here who carry shotguns and think "the gays" want to take over America. It's like, blood red Trump country, and too many members of my family are the same way. I wear certain underclothes, and I wear lotion that makes me feel a little better, but I'd love to wear the hell out of a nice dress.

I just want to say that, for the record, I'm coming out on this board as ACCSOABFC+

Years ago, I had ongoing conversations with a guy in New England who was in a similar boat. He was a school teacher in a conservative area. He would drive to neighboring towns and cities to buy women's clothing, then do the same thing to go out. It might help if you attempted in a larger city first. and maybe start with women's jeans and a loose top until you get more comfortable.