Even Troll Kingdom got bored of Castle and locked his thread.

It was no small feat for you so I thought I'd acknowledge it. Carry on.

And yet you were so butthurt by realising that you were a nobody that your have resorted to trolling by PM...

Brioni.

I keep telling you, Grover Cleveland only counts once.

I like them. Don't have any but like them.

Fantastic clothes, and hard wearing as well. First one I bought is now 13 years old. So, if you think about it, the longevity makes up for the price. I find some luxury brands better than others for good value, for instance I buy my leather goods, such as my wallet, from Mulberry and they last, and stay good, for ages. Worst luxury brands? Calvin Klein, Prada and Gucci by a long shot. Cheap shit sold for extortionate prices. It's a try and test process, but I find that investing in the good stuff pays off in the end.

I have a couple CK suits. They're meh. But I wouldn't call them luxury brands at the price they charge.

They would.

We have a store over here called Primark, which sells clothes at welfare bum prices, and one of my exes bought me some underpants from there some 6 years ago for about £3. At the same time she also bought me some Calvin Klein ones. The latter have long since fallen to pieces while the cheap rubbish is still good. Just goes to show you. Also had some CK sun glasses, some polo shirts and a golfing umbrella. All shite. Never again.

What kind of cool features does an £80 necktie have? Can you kill people with it in a variety of ways or is it more of a surveillance/communications or rescue/first aid device? Can it link to my iPod?

No, it just makes me feel good to wear luxury items. It takes the stress away and stops me having to worry about joining unofficial militias.

Yeah, I thought you were a person, but you are right, you are just a polished turd.

It's beats going through life in the white color world as another gray man.

Wait. You're sending him PMs now? Now that's quality trolling.

I imagine you look very pretty in those designer clothes. So when you are helping dayton out it is just because you want to show off how shiny you are compared to his dull idiocy. You are very nice to give him your attention. That makes you a big important man. Perhaps you could send him some clothes so he looks good on his next job interview.

You really make this way too easy.

I am terribly sorry for thinking chuppie a person. I know i am a dumbass who gave him way too much credit. He really showed me.

Hey @El Chup why don't you copy what I sent you in PM right here. I am quite sure it would be embarassing and show how much of a dufus I am. I give you permission and I should have posted it here in the first place anyway. Come on, bring my horrible troll out here for everyone to see.

Since @El Chup may have more important things to do than to show you all how truly horrible I am, and how I am petty and stupid I figure I will help him out. Here is the PM I sent him.

I totally treated him poorly there. I was quite the evil person. I totally had to resort to PM because chuppie would never respond to such a worthless speck as me in this forum. He was really ignoring me and it was clear I was not getting through his defenses and making him angry and feel bad. It is the least that I can do to show my horrible words and terrible attack on chuppie. It is only because I am such a detestable troll that I say such horrible things.

Anyway, I give chuppie some time and hope he forgives me for my slights against him. After all I can do nothing else being the master troll that I am.

A tie like that just means they'll make you an officer.

Two bits of advice: ignore the child, and if it's an interview for a high-paying yob, then go with a Hermes tie (one's enough in the collection for most people, they're recognizable as 'rich' people accoutrement in the States - in about the same way as a Harrow tie in Brit land means you probably have a stick up your bum).

An Italian clothing company? Sounds pretensionous.

It does amaze me how much effort you all put forth to help me to understand how great you are and how much of a POS I am. I really just cannot be taught that lesson, and that seems to be my weakness. If only I could see your greatness and feel shame because I do not bow to your pedigree. After all you spent all that time and effort to get it to impress little old me. I do not appreciate any of your vast efforts in those trials. I have not been a very polite guest here by not being awestruck by your many awards and baubles.

I am a terrible person for all of that. It was quite wrong of me to inform you of that fact quite loudly and succinctly. I made every effort to tell you how much I was a troll. I told you I was the villain. That surely was wrong of me to be open and honest about that. Because you obviously fell for my ruse and figured it out for yourselves. I do not know how you did such an amazing thing with me telling you it was so. I even clapped for you when you got it right. I understand your frustration. It must be so hard to show everyone something so fucking obvious. I am a piece of shit from your perspective and it is rightly so.

The problem you have is that your judgment does not hurt me. You want to hurt me. you want to tear me down, and all of your efforts do nothing. All your power and importance falls useless. I am still here, and I still like myself. That is the thing that really gets to you. You cannot hurt a lowly POS like me, and that scares the hell out of you because if you cannot hurt a useless worm like myself perhaps you are not the big people you wish you were.

One final thing. I know you are reading what I say because you are desperately looking for a flaw in my armor. you would not be so passionate about finding it if I were just your regular old troll. You can tell everyone that you do not care, but you cannot convince me. because people who really do not care just go away. They actually ignore people. I hurt you by tearing down your illusions, and it angers you so much more that you cannot block that vision. You have the power all the time. Go do something better. You do not see me going out there and arguing every time dim bulb, soma, captain x, or thelonelysquire post? That is because they do not interest me. They are basic and predictable. You do not even see the compliment I give you by engaging you. You interest me, and I can admit that. Chardman was becoming someone interesting to me. He stuck out. I am saddened by his passing and the reality I won't know more of him. I am also happy that he had caring friends around him that did get to know him and were part of his life. In that you have something I do not. It is not the end of the world, but it is my loss none the less.

What you see in me as bragging is me just seeking to get over all the bullshit and find people who are interested in adventure and the things I do. You see I want to do it again, and perhaps some other people might want to join me. I cannot promise fame and fortune, but I can say it will be a good journey and fun to go along.

Anyway, you are not reading any of this because you always ignore what I write. Maybe that is true and maybe I do not care if you bite or not. there will be other people who will. It is not the end of the world. It does not mean either of us are worthless. It is just how it is with all the different people in our lives. We really only get a chance to know a few of them deeply, but the ones we do not are not alone, they just simply have other friends of their own. That does not lessen my importance to the people I love and care about. I am happy that there is all those people out there and I hope people experience strong friendships and loves. I just recognize it does not have to include me and that I really do not have much of a right to fuck with it.

22minute commute. Do i read the metro or catch up on this thread?

Sadly i made a bad decision.

Yeah, friends are important, and often they are the measure of a life. I had a lot of friends at one time. Sadly, I had to kill them all so they wouldn't talk. Handy time-saving tip: Kill your best friends last so you can use their help to bury the other ones. That minimizes the amount of digging you have to do yourself. I learned that the hard way outside of Las Vegas.

Had an interesting exchange with a couple of locals while I was out there.

Local dude #1: "What you doin'?"
Me: "Buryin' some bodies. What you guys doing?"
Local dude #2: "What's it look like?"
Me: "Holding a couple guys at gunpoint."
Local dude #2: "Yeah. Say, would you mind if we just went dutch on your holes, seein' as how you already got them dug and all?"
Me: "No. Dig your own goddamn graves."
Local dude #1: "Say what?"
Me: "You heard me."
Local dude #1: "Do you know who you're talkin' too?"
Me: "Yeah, people who are out here to bury a hell of lot fewer bodies than I am."
Local dude #2: "He has a point."

Tied up - duct taped guy #1: "MMmmmbbmmm mmm."
Local dude #1 to duct tape guy: "Shut up."

Me: "Well, since you guys are only adding two more bodies to the pile, I guess it wouldn't make much of a difference. Diggin' here is easy anyway."
Local dude #2: "Easy?"
Me: "Yeah, back home I have to hack through big ass tree roots before I get a foot down."
Local dude #2: "That so?"
Me: "Yeah. Generally you got problems near oak and maple where you could be chopping away for an hour, so I've gotten to where I try to bury them near sassafras. That way I get some good tea out of it."
Local dude #1: "I've had sassafras tea. Good stuff."

The dudes pushed their duct-taped companions over to where I was digging.

Local dude #1: "Man, that's a pile. Never seen that many dead people before."
Me: "Indeed it is. I'm a very popular fellow."
Local dude #1: "Popular?"
Me: "Yeah. These were all my close friends."
Local dude #1: "Friends? Why'd you kill them?!"
Me: "So they wouldn't talk."
Local dude #2: "I understand that."
Me: "You gonna shoot those fellas or knife 'em?"
Local dude #1: "Neither."
Me: "Oh? What then? Strangle?"
Local dude #1: "No, make them dig a hole."
Me: "Make them dig?"
Local dude #1: "Yeah, that's how we do this."
Me: "You make the people you kill dig their own graves?!"
Local dude #2: "Duh, yeah. That's how it's done. Sometimes they beg."
Me: "That's fuckin' genius! Why didn't I think of that?"

They shoved the two duct-type guys in my hole and kicked in a shovel.

Local dude #1: "You sure you done this before?"
Me: "Well, just sometimes. Hrm... Course the lazy fucks I usually kill couldn't dig a hole in the woods for spit, and I ain't giving them no ax, either."
Local dude #2: "Local adaptations. I can see that."

(Local dude #1 shoots into the grave to motivate the diggers.)
Local dude #1 "Get to work!"

Local dude #2: "That's a pretty big pile you got there. All your friends?"
Me: "Yep."
Local dude #2: "Just so they wouldn't talk?"
Me: "Yep."
Local dude #2: "Talk about what?"
Me: "Can't say, or you'd end up like them."
Local dude #1: "Come on. It's just us out here, taking care of business. We don't know you, you don't know us."

(Local dude #2 shoots another round at the duct tape guys in the pit)

Me: "True enough."
Local dude #1: "No names or nothing. I'm just curious."
Me: "Well, they saw me."
Local dude #1: "Saw you? If they were your friends they saw you all the time."
Me: "No, they saw me."
Local dude #1: "What, you an alien or something?"

(I look up at the stars and think a bit)

Me: "No. They saw me down there."

(gestures to my belt)

Local dude #2: "What the fuck?"
Me: "We was all drinkin' beer around the fire and I had to go pee, so I'm out by the brush peeing and this snake starts rattling so I spun around - and they saw me."
Local dude #1: "What the fuck did they see? I mean, what the hell?"
Me: "They saw night desert shrinkage, that's what they saw! Little fucker was maybe an inch long. Then they laughed."
Local dude #2: "So you killed 'em for that?"
Me: "Damn right I killed them. You think I'm going to go through life with a bunch of friends who think I have a little dick? What would you do?"
Local dude #1: "I guess I'd kill 'em too."
Local dude #2: "Guido, you got a little dick. I seen it."
Local dude #1: "Shut up, and never use my name. I am Mr. Mauve."
Local dude #2: "Okay Mr. Mauve. Whatever you say."

(duct tape guy shoves his shovel loudly into the dirt and mumbles something.)

Me: "I think those dudes are about spent. Best get on with this."

(Local dude #1 shoots both of them in the head as the try to scream through the duct tape)

Me: "Wanna help me with a couple of these bodies?"
Local dude #1: "Oh, why not."

(We all go over and start throwing my friends into the pit)

Me: "Hey, can one of you guys kinda graze my leg?"
Local dude #2: "What for?"
Me: "Alibi when I get back. Just barely graze it though, we still got a lot of work to do, but I need it to be clotting some."
Local dude #1: "Yeah, we can do that."
Me: "Hold on, let me take a chug of beer first."

(Local dude #1 swings and fires, barely hitting my thigh)

Me: "Goddamnit! Goddamnit!"
Loacl dude #1: "Easier without any warning."
Me: "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Arrgghhh..."

(I walk around stamping my feet, trying to shake the pain off.)

Me: "Need a beer. Need a beer. Maybe a whisky."

Local dude #2: *snickers* "You asked for it."
Me: "Yep yep yep. I think I'll stand here, yep yep, while you toss a couple more bodies in."

(The two locals go back to work, I continue limping around, apparently at random)

Local dude #1: "Goddamn this one's heavy."
Me: "Yeah, that was lard ass Miller. Great guy. His family is going to be shattered."
Local dude #2: "Yeah, that's some cold shit you did."

(They try grabbing Miller by his hands and feet and sliding him along)

Me: "Yeah, but not as cold as this."

(I riddle both of them with bullets in a wild pattern before they can even let go of Miller and go for their guns)

Local dude #1, wheezing as his hand flails in the dirt, spasming: "What?"
Me: "Damn. It looks like I'm the only survivor of a killing spree on a bunch of campers who accidentally saw a mob execution! Thanks guys!"

They fell for the shrinkage story, and they paid the price. I came up with it when I was looking at the stars asking myself "What would James Holmes do? What would Adam Lanza do? What would Chris Kyle do? What would George Costanza do?" And then it hit me. Use George Costanza's shrinkage story to work my way behind them like the guy who shot Chris Kyle to cover up a mass murder of a bunch of my friends who made fun of me because I told them that Batman could kick Superman's ass.

Shit happens and you have to roll with it.

So, I guess that means @gturner has a short dick. I'm not surprised.

No, dingbat, it's that your posts are Volpone level of predictable.

To his credit, he talks about three difference topics, which is two more than Tererun does.

And knowing is half the battle.

I'm on board with "you get what you pay for," but don't you hit the law of diminishing returns at some point?

I mean, you pick up an $8.99 tie at Walmart, you sort of expect that you're going to start noticing loose threads, fraying, etc., within a handful of wears. A $30 or $40 tie will legitimately be much better. But how much real difference is there between a $40 tie and a $120 one?

The price tag?