"We ain't in the prisoner taking business, we in the Nazi killing business. And cousin, business is a boomin'!" "I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Santagh are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe that there oughtta be a constitutional amendment outlawing astro-turf and the designated hitter, I believe in the "sweet spot", soft core pornography, chocolate chip cookies, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last for 3 days." "The way I hear it you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat." "Good morning, Mrs. Johnson. And isn't it a lovely morning?" "Up yours, nigger!" "Excuse me while I whip this out." "They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!" "Assume the position." "Can I have ten thousand marbles please?" "It's a hell of a thing killing a man. You take everything he has, and everything he's going to have."
See? That's federal property. This isn't. This is L.A. This is my town. Out here you're a trespasser. Out here I can pick you up, burn your house, fuck your wife, and kill your dog. And the only thing that'll protect you is if I can't find you. And I already found you.
Goose: "Greeeeaat, Viper's up here!" Mav: "He's probably sayin' 'holy shit, it's Maverick and Goose.'" Goose: "Yeah, I'm sure he's sayin' that!"
Edgar Friendly: You see, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
"Illinois Nazis." "I hate Illinois Nazis." "OVER!? IT'S NOT OVER TIL WE SAY IT'S OVER! WAS I OVER WHEN THE GERMANS BOMBED PEARL HARBOR?" "Germans?" "Don't stop him, he's rolling." "I! HAVE HAD! ENOUGH OF...YOU!!!"
"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in." - Hub "During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!" - Louis
"Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?" "Not right now." "A girl's gotta have her standards." "Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?" "No..." "Why am I the only one who has that dream?"
Just to mix things up, here are some really BAD movie lines: "Every man dies. Not every man really lives." "They may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom!" "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." "You complete me." "I truly, deeply love you."
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die! Ray, next time someone asks you if you are a god, you SAY YES! Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive. To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you could miss it. I'm here to do two things. Kick ass, and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of bubble gum.
"Good, bad...I'm the guy with the gun." "There" a sight for sore bones." "Yo, She-bitch! Let's go." "Honey, you got real ugly." And the immortal classic... "Give me some sugar, baby."
Spock - there is a historic opportunity here. Kirk - don't believe them! Don't trust them! Spock - they're dying. Kirk - Let them die!
"What we have hea-uh...is a failure...to communicate." "Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps! And I want my scalps!" "I don't know which species is worse, Burke. You don't see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage."
It's 130 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of smokes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
"He worked really hard, Grandma" "So do washing machines" --- "Eddie - If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I couldn't be more surprised than I am now." --- "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
Judge Bristol: ...and there be hanged by the neck till he be dead, dead, dead. Now, do you have anything to say, young man? William H. Bonney: Yes I do, your Honor. You can go to hell, hell, hell. "I've fallen madly in love with the dark side of your nature. "
You don't know when to quit, do ya Griswold?... Here's an idea: Why don't you give me half the money you were gonna bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day!
