or at least a rub'n tug... funny thing... I used to live along a skeezy stroll (one girl we called "'round the world for eight bucks", another was "gummo"... guess why) and the frequency of certain luxury cars was, well, surprising.
Being nice absolutely gets you somewhere...provided you also exude confidence. The really good, loyal women aren’t your vapid bimbos more obessesed with Jersey Shore and teeth bleaching than registering a vote. They see the value in a good man. Don’t worry. When I was in school I lacked confidence as well, but once I got out there into the adult world I grew in confidence.
Models: Attracting Women through Honesty This is not me trolling you. This book is actually quite useful. Worth a read.
It is. I remember visiting incel forums years and years ago, before the whole thing caught on as some kind of social movement. I would read men and women talking about not finding a partner for sex, and I recall saying something like "why don't you talk to one another? If it's just biological, there are a lot of men and women here who seem to have a need, and each of you can fulfill that need." The responses ranged from "you don't understand" to the classic "doesn't meet my standards." That's right. To paraphrase Yukon Cornelius (a player if there ever was one), even among incels they were incels. I empathize with this, because contrary to my cheeky, outgoing "devil-may-care" behavior here, I'm quite shy myself. For a long time, I did believe that being nice should have counted towards being prime boyfriend material, until I realized that basic human decency shouldn't come with a prize, it should be something we all possess regardless. I also started adulthood as a super fundamentalist Christian, and unlike many of my fellow fundamentalist Christians at the time, didn't toss it aside at the first moment of convenience, not that I think one shouldn't (Seriously, fuck that shit, if someone likes you, and you like them, fucking go for it!). Like you, my self-esteem is practically non-existent. Like you, my self worth, my belief that I'm somehow worthy of being with someone, is abysmal. I get it. I do get it when you talk about that. There are lots of reasons women might date a douchebag. They may have been raised in such a way that they expect men to behave this way (something we should change, BTW). There may be something about Captain Asshole that is redeemable, and we just don't see it. Perhaps she just likes assholes. As you say, that's her right. She doesn't owe any "nice" guy a date. There is, after all, someone for everyone, and yes, I do believe that. I think there is a personality type for every other personality type. Finding that person, though, is another story entirely. So I think it comes down to logistics. The only way to find someone, really, is to put yourself out there, but if you're shy, introverted, and have the self-esteem of a dead yak, it becomes an enormous mountain to climb, one that might be so tall as to make you think it's impossible. It's not, but holy shit does it feel that way.
Hey! Don't call escorts/hookers whores! Personally I have great respect for hookers & porn stars & sex workers of all types. I get pissed off that pimps exploit them and serial killers target them.
I've always been a nice guy who's always lacked self esteem myself. The former got me hit on all the time by women. Unfortunately the latter made it impossible for me to realize it. ...at least until I got married. Then my wife is always like, "she was totally flirting with you", and I'd be like, "Whaaat? Her? Naw!....really? Naw!" There was even one time in College during Spring Break in Myrtle Beach... ...yeah, none of you want to hear about that. Nobody would believe me anyway...but even that didn't cure me of any self confidence issues. My advice to you to help you meet girls who like "bad" guys...keep being a good guy...but wear a wedding ring.
My wedding ring is somewhere in the Atlantic, if it hasn’t turned up somewhere. With my ex wife it came natural and was easy. I know it’s cliche, but it felt meant to be. Now I just feel broken and stuck in a never ending rut.
That reminds me of this kid in high school. He committed to pledging himself to our group, literally. He used Lemon Pledge on his head. Silly times the '80's were...
Damnit @Fruitloop you made the boy pout and cry. Now he won't share his incel feelings with us. You know he is sensitive about his condition. What do you think this is, the internet? You think about what you have done and when you are done laughing and enjoying your clear superiority you come back and do it again because this was fucking hilarious.
Heh-yeah, if I had half the shots I missed taking to do over again... Damn That's one of the ironies of life, guys can't figure out when a woman is dropping hints, and they see right through us when we are.
but the worst thing of all....fellas you can all back me up on this.....are the motherfuckers who COCK BLOCK! I'm not a guy who holds a grudge but damn.......that's a pain that never goes away. Great now I'm going to have nightmares about what could have been, but never was thanks to the COCK BLOCK!
yeah... they tend to kill your chances while never really having had one themself. Sometimes it works out if they overplay themselves and get crude. Gives you a chance to be all chivalrous and stand up for the woman's dignity.
.... You having a Dayton moment there, buddy? Do you really want to share that in the RR of all places? That's exactly it. They've been told they deserve any woman with no effort beyond behavior that by any measure is common fucking decency. Women can have entitlement complexes too. I did as a teenager, but the difference between me and most men is that no one told the guy I had a crush on to just "give her a chance, you might like it" despite him being damn near the bottom of the social ladder. No one coddled me about my mopiness over that affair and when my mom suggested the reason he wasn't interested was because he was gay, all my friends thought she was nuts (she is and his FB pics with the wife and kids prove he isn't). Meanwhile boys are taught from a young age that courtship is a "game" and that a woman only plays hard to get if she truly wants you. And just....no to that. 90 percent of the time, we really don't want you.
Here’s one of my favorites, the girl is telling you how shitty her boyfriend is and how she wishes she could find a nice guy. Uh, hello, I’m right here.
Pretty much the story of my life. For years, I blamed the crush I had in HS for why dating got ruined for me before I ever started and it's taken this long to realize hearing all my mom's relationship baggage and shit no barely pubescent girl should know about her mom's dating life damaged me well before Matt Solom ever came into the fucking picture. Add to that my chronic self-esteem and him berating me for what I recognize as symptoms of anxiety and yeah. I'm fine with dying alone if the alternative is a lifetime of dysfunction and half-assed setting and game playing with people you barely like and aren't even that great in bed. Granted, my anxiety is better than it was back then, but I still fear being left alone for that.
One time when I was living in an apartment, one of my married but lonely smoking hot neighbors lifter her shirt all the way up to show me her stretch marks (without me asking or even wanting to see them). Turns out she didn't have stretch marks. Turns out she wasn't wearing a bra either. I complimented her on her lack of stretch marks and bid her good day. But she was married, so I did the right thing. It was the RIGHT THING. I did the right thing.
It is called human nature. You always want something you cannot get more than what you already have. That guy who is always around in the friend zone is something she already has and the guy who does not want her so easily is something she has to reach to get. When she gets his attention it validates her self worth because he now wants her. You don't have to do anything for the friendly guy who is always there, so why fuck up a good thing you already have? Before any girls get mad it works in reverse too. Why marry the girl who is always hanging around sucking your cock whenever you want it? You make the guy get you stuff and commit by making him reach for your affections, or he never will. Yes, this is not every relationship, but it happens a whole lot.
The thing is, you deserve better than that. You shouldn't have to deal with dysfunction in a relationship. You shouldn't have to die alone. Loneliness is its own special hell. Why go through hell your entire life only to die and have nothing to show for it? This life is too damned short already, that we burn so many years just trying to fend off loneliness. Sometimes it makes life seem like nothing but one cruelty after another foisted on people who do not deserve such a fate. You did the right thing.
I had an opportunity to hook up with a really hot college girl and I turned her down because she had a boyfriend who was away in the Navy. It was because he was in the Navy, I felt I couldn’t do it.
yep - if a woman starts giving you TMI on her current relationship they have no romantic interest you. They don't have to be "on guard" around you because you are not even open for consideration in her world. You will never get beyond the friend zone.
FF you turned down a girl who only had a boyfriend? A boyfriend is nothing - even less than a husband on the "risk versus reward" matrix. She has a boyfriend it's a neon sign saying "open for business." Okay if he's way bigger & stronger than you - then you might want to think twice. Also military guys better get used to "Jody" making a call when they are away.
Nah. As far as I'm concerned "boyfriend" is as set in stone as "husband," until otherwise stated, because I would absolutely hate for that to be done to me were I in his place.
