It does have a little wang to it. Good, though.

Jamey Whistler · Apr 22, 2011

Semen Assault Suspect Sentenced

SANTA ANA (CBS) — A Fullerton man has been sentenced to 180 days in jail and three years probation for secretly ejaculating twice into a co-worker’s water bottle — which she later drank from.

Michael Kevin Lallana was also ordered to register as a sex offender. He was convicted Feb. 24 of two misdemeanor counts of battery.

Lallana and the victim — identified in court only as Tiffany G. — started working together at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network in Newport Beach. They were both transferred to the company’s office in Orange in 2010.

She testified that while working in Newport Beach, she left her water bottle at work on a Friday in January 2010, and when she returned on Monday, she took a swig and noticed a foul taste that seemed like semen, so she threw out the bottle.

After moving to the new office in Orange, she again tasted semen in her water on April 6, 2010. She said that after the second incident, she kept the fouled liquid and asked her fiancee put his semen in a water bottle to see if that’s what she had tasted at work.

Tiffany G. said she later took the bottle to a laboratory to have it tested. Orange police told her they could not open an investigation on speculation of a crime, and her superiors at work did not know what to do about it. When the test showed there was semen in the water, Orange detectives started questioning the company’s employees.

Lallana was initially evasive, but eventually told detectives he put his semen in the water bottle because “her lips had touched” it.

“I saw her water bottle and I did it,” Lallana says on a tape of the police interview. “For me, it’s a release. I think about my wife.”

Lallana also said in the interview that he found Tiffany attractive. “It was the closest I could ever get to someone as good looking as that without tampering with my marriage or hurting anyone,” Lallana said.
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He couldn't afford an inflate-a-mate?

Dr. Drake Ramoray · Apr 22, 2011

[WYT="Is there a Dick here?!"]EMiPjnNF7Dc[/WYT]

cpurick · Apr 22, 2011

Well, thank God he didn't tamper with his marriage or hurt anyone.

Of course, I'd still like to see a picture of that stuck up, cum guzzlin' bitch...

cpurick · Apr 22, 2011

"Dear, would you mind ejaculating in this water bottle? I'm conducting an experiment for work."

Sokar · Apr 22, 2011

GHAAAAAAAA!!!

I did NOT need to read this.

Jamey Whistler said: ↑

She testified that while working in Newport Beach, she left her water bottle at work on a Friday in January 2010, and when she returned on Monday, she took a swig and noticed a foul taste that seemed like semen, so she threw out the bottle.
Click to expand...

Move over CSI!

Paladin · Apr 22, 2011

Ramen has been brought to justice at last.

P.S. Can you imagine her contacting the police? "I took a drink and I thought, 'gee, that sure tastes like semen.' But I wasn't sure. So, I asked my boyfriend..."

cpurick · Apr 22, 2011

Jamey Whistler said: ↑

Lallana was initially evasive, but eventually told detectives he put his semen in the water bottle because “her lips had touched” it.
Click to expand...

I'm thinking she should probably check her chair, too.

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It does have a little wang to it. Good, though.

Jamey Whistler Éminence grise

Dr. Drake Ramoray 1 minute, 42.1 seconds baby!

cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

Sokar Yippiekiyay, motherfucker. Deceased Member

Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

Log in or Sign up

It does have a little wang to it. Good, though.

Jamey Whistler Éminence grise

Dr. Drake Ramoray 1 minute, 42.1 seconds baby!

cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

Sokar Yippiekiyay, motherfucker. Deceased Member

Paladin Overjoyed Man of Liberty

cpurick Why don't they just call it "Leftforge"?

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