NYT destroys Guy Fieri's new restaurant

I don't know Fieri from Adam other than he's got goofy hair and cooks some kind of jacked-up version of American standards, but this Times review of his new restaurant is absolutely hysterical. It's almost as good as when Pulitzer winner Jonathan Gold got stuck eating at the Olive Garden and ended up reviewing it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/14/d...imes-square.html?pagewanted=1&_r=0&ref=dining

Now, that is a negative review. Daaaaaaaaaaamn.

I read this earlier, I liked some of the closing statements best:

I catch him on the Food Network every once in a while where he goes to these shitty diners and puts some awful looking food in his mouth and tells us all how amazing it is.

So I guess the review doesn't surprise me.

Ouch.....

I can't stand the guy, but I will have to say that friends of mine who watch his show have turned me on to a couple of good restaurants here in town that I might not have otherwise tried on my own.

I still can't watch the guy, though.

That's one great review.

Love it!

That was funny. But I still might find myself there after getting a little drunk somewhere else and then walking through Times Square as often happens when I'm in midtown.



This has to be a most serious tourist spot. The only people that actually PLAN to go to dinner in Times Square are teens and tourists.

I hate that guy (pun intended). His show sucks while he's nothing but a fat aging frat boy who has never, ever, not once, declared anything on his show to be bad.

Oh and as to that review....won't matter at all. The place will still be packed every night.

Every place in Times Square is full of people, all the time.

The hotdog guy on the corner makes a mint!!

The article is very well written and it seems to bring up some genuine issues if in a very douche bag like manner. That said, the reviewer should kill him/herself for claiming fried squid some how originated in Rhode Island. This is inexcusable for a person who supposedly knows so much about food. Chopped squid, breaded, and then tossed into boiling oil has been around a hell of a lot longer than Rhode Island.

I assumed that's how it was described on the menu.

I would have thought so too but the context seems like an aside where the author is claiming Calamari was invented in Rhode Island.

Nope. It's on the menu as "Rhode Island Calamari".

Well, I'll be...

Holy Shit!! Just looked at the menu. Those prices are outrageous!!

The Oak Room at The Plaza Hotel has prices like that. And that ain't no Oak Room!!

Yeah, he's a huge jerk, but the show is worth watching because he does hit some pretty good joints.

Yeah I noticed that. $7 for a side order of fries?

What makes his "Malibu Oysters" so "Malibu" since there are no commercial oyster fisheries or farms in Malibu and if you eat in one of the few sea food restaurants in Malibu all the oysters come from either the PNW or the Gulf coast?

Also, it's the garlic butter and pickled hot peppers that make a "Rhode Island" fried calamari dish. Obviously the author isn't claiming that fried calamari was invented in Rhode Island, just that one style of serving it is associated with Rhode Island.

But remember, they're "hand cut" and served with 18 different dipping sauces.

The most dollars I'll pay for an order of fries is five.

I'm willing to pay high prices for an outstanding meal and experience.

But I am not willing to pay THAT for THAT.

I've paid a few bucks more but only as a special treat. They were duck fat fried truffle parmasen fries with a nice mustard aioli sauce at The Smoking Goat and they were well worth their $8 given their size and the fact that they put real grated truffles on them.

That said I wouldn't spend that much on fries normally and sure as fuck not for Guy Fieri's fries. Honestly, it sounds like they need a bigger frier and they need to turn the temperature up higher because the volume is so high there and so many frozen (we both know this place sells nothing but frozen processed food) things are getting put in the frier it is lowering the temperature. This is why the reviewers complained about soggy fries, calamari which wasn't fully cooked, and other fried food misshapes.

One of the worst, most expensive meals I've ever had in my life was at the Gladstones on the beach in Malibu. I could have grabbed a seagull and taken a bite, and it would have been better.

Looks like one would get better fries at a Flying J truck stop. Well, this is what you snotty bastards get for bein' pretentious.

I've never eaten at Gladstones but the reviews make it pretty clear you're paying for the views because the owners either don't know how to cook or just stopped giving a shit a long time ago. Honestly, I can't blame them. They've figured out it could be dog shit on a plate but people would still pay $40 for it just to see the views. That's seems to kind of be the operating theory behind Guy's new restaurant in Time's Square.

Mewa means seagull in Polish.