The Official Red Room Bitch About Star Trek Into Darkness Thread! (SPOILERS)

All you TWATs, CLITs, CUNT's, ANUSes, and PENISes can bitch about the movie here.



And space battles!

Re: The Official Red Room Bitch About Star Trek Into Darkness Thread!

Man, I fuckin' hate good space battles! Nothing ruins a sigh fai flix0r like good space battles! Fuck'em!

Re: The Official Red Room Bitch About Star Trek Into Darkness Thread!

Wrong font!! Cheerleader blood! Honkey Khan!

Re: The Official Red Room Bitch About Star Trek Into Darkness Thread!

Hey, that's nothing to about, that was one of the most popular classic arcade games!

Re: The Official Red Room Bitch About Star Trek Into Darkness Thread!

Hoooonkeeey Khaaan!!!

Now with spoilers!

It's Khan, you TWATs!

So the next one is gonna have monkeys?
Some terrifying [-]space[/-] augmented space monkeys maybe get loose?

Magic blood.

Why not? Compared to black-hole-inducing-soup, magic blood seems down-right restrained.

And it was invented by Vulcans.
It's Plomeek!

Budwieser.

Say what?

Yeah, DeadNotKirk sposedly gets brought back to life by NotVampireBlood.

Apparently, now Khan Noonien Singh's blood has amazing healing properties, to the point of bringing back people and tribbles from the dead.

a franken tribble?

fuckin' [-]Mon[/-]Khansanto!

Wait. Into darkness is out?

No, it's just that JJTrek has turned into the BadLipReading version of Star Trek. Amusing. Entertaining. Not the real deal.

Sorry, I said, "turned into" -- I should have said "started out as."

"AbramsTrek is HORSE HOCKEY!"

Hey Muad...

Beat you by about 11 months, 41 pages and 1200 posts.

http://www.wordforge.net/showthread.php?t=93803

Sounds like the gimmicky, derivative, lazily-plotted kind of thing I expected. I'll watch it, probably enjoy the explosions and then lament the lack of any substance.

I dont' get to see it until May 30

It's still the wrong font.

Here's hoping it's an entertaining flick!



Beyond that?

ex-fucking-zactly

Blackhole Plomeek, won't you come, and wash away the raaain!!

Because.

It takes an established character and adds an element that never existed to them. And the sole reason for that element is a cheesy reset switch.

It's like Berman and Braga is writing this one.

You know why Superman can fly?

The makers of the old Fleischer cartoon thought his original grasshopper leaping "looked foolish", so, without bothering to even bullshit an explanation how it was possible, bam, he flew like Peter Pan, and has ever since.

Everyone just obliviously accepts it as part of the character.

None of this is new.

Khan's so called "magic blood" isn't more facepalm worthy than a ton of other things we've witnessed in Trek throughout the years.

Time travel by going around the sun really fast?
Sunlight in a cave?
Fountain of youth?
They just wanted to talk to the whales?
Oh right, just kamikaze into the time ship.
Getting into Klingon space flying a Federation ship and speaking shitty Klingon? AND REALLY, THEY DIDN'T NOTICE THE TRACKING DEVICE ON KIRK?

Pretty silly to use the blood as some sort of weird justification to get less stoked about the movie, especially since we don't even know the full context.

It's hilarious that people view past Trek as some sort of unattainable perfection, the like of which we'll never see again.

Get yer heads out yer asses.

That's not quite so silly. The premise is that the sun is needed to slingshot the ship to a sufficient speed for time travel. And it is the case in reality that if one does this, eventually time goes backwards.

Of course, it would take an infinite amount of energy, and it happens at any speed greater than that of light (which the Enterprise routinely surpasses) but the principle of "going really fast" is sound.