T'is all my fault! :(

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Did not sleep much at all last night and my shoulder and knee are hurting me after my 0800 physical therapy. Today is our anniversary and I made reservations at a nice restaurant and made plans to go to a movie as well. Told the wife and she says "well YOU have fun". She had already made plans to go out with some friends. Its a bit after 2pm and I am already having a glass of scotch. Got my ass chewed badly for not telling her I had reservations sooner, but I never make reservations until the day of the meal. Is that not normal? Feeling a bit all alone right now. I'm thinking the wife forgot it was our anniversary but I'm not gonna bring that up

So you play the steel drum?

Don't know what that means?

I guess this is one of those "Wait until she's home and see what happens" situations.

Sorry about the crappy day.

Your wife made other plans for your anniversary?

You need a new woman

There are certain individuals that just have faulty memory skills in some areas. They can be of either sex. I can't remember birthdates of some of my closest friends. I've gotten used to the idea of listening out for the event that has some form of sentimental value.

A steel drum is a kind of a musical instrument that is used it Calypso style music.

Optomistically, it may have slipped her mind.
I screwed up once, I was two days off, using a holiday as a reminder/marker I mistakenly chose the wrong side of that day. It was the day before, not the day after.

Pessimistically, look for Sancho's footprints out the back door.

No I don't play it.

Of course, you fool! You're the husband!

It's ALWAYS our fault!

Wow! The only silver lining I can think of, is that she is planning a surprise anniversary gift. Perhaps the friend she has plans with is part of the gift?

She had to go to this thing. Evidently she is in charge of it or something. Its some kind of get together for people who are learning to write books or something and somehow she ended up leading it. She said she had it planned for 2 weeks and I waited until the last minute. I was trying to surprise her and I guess I did. Just not what I had hoped for. No Gul, that is not even a remote possibility. She is over it now and gone to the get together, so I guess things are ok now. Sigh.....18 years.

I'm not married and I never have been. But this sounds exceptionally shitty to me. I wonder what the reaction would have been if it was you that blew off an aniversary to go hang out with your book club buddies after she put effort into making it a special day.

I'm sure that would have been different. You see, part of being married is the woman expects the man to read her mind. You are supposed to get things by inference and hints and moods, etc. I fail at this most of the time. Anyways, Its me and the putty tats. On a positive note. My one cat that is near 15 years old went suddenly blind about 2 weeks ago. The doc said it was caused by high blood pressure and it was permanent blindness. He said we could give medicine for her high Blood pressure if we wanted but it wouldn't help. We started giving her the meds and now she can see again. That vet is a quack.

Sorry your anniversary didn't turn out the way you wanted. But do remember this is her fault, not yours, damnit. The 'reading her mind' bullshit doesn't fly this time. What, read her mind that she planned something else on your anniversary? Bull. You just don't do that. She forgot or worse, figured you'd forget (not even considering she thought: 'oh whatever, I'm busy'), and she's covering up by blaming you for something. Don't let her. She sleeps on the couch tonight, unless she can convince you she's very, very sorry...

Ha ha ha ha ha You aren't married are you

Ouch. That's really fucked up.

Absolute bullshit. She has no business making plans for your anniversary. Read her the riot act, cause god knows she'd read it to you.

If she forgot, then fine, you are off the hook for the rest of your life. But it sounds like she's trying to twist her fuckup on to you, and you shouldn't let her get away with it. You had reservations for dinner and a movie, and if she made plans two weeks ahead of time, that's HER fault. Somehow I think her writing group would understand if their time was scheduled on her anniversary.

Sorry dude, this is ridiculously fucked up. And not even an eensy-weensy bit your problem.

Yes men, let's get him a divorce.

Hmmm....what would Marso do?

1. Split a shit eatin' grin. Off the hook!

2. Say: 'whatever makes you happy, dear,' then smile sweetly as she's out the door.

3. Slug down a couple single malts while I phone the bro in law/buds/whoever and decide which strip club we're gonna hit.

4. Hit the strip club and spend all that money that was going to go for dinner and a movie. Get roaring drunk.

5. Crash at my bud's house and come home the next day, ruined for 24 hours with the hangover.

6. Call work and start my next trip early.

Alternate ending:

5. No tip-toeing in. Rev the car in the driveway (or have the cabbie do it) about 100 fucking times at 6500 RPM. Knock over the metal trash cans if ye can!

6. Crash into the house as noisily as possible, bang your way into the loo, slam the toilet seat up, and piss as long and noisily as possible into the center of the toilet.

7. Strip butt naked, slam loudly into the bedroom, and shout "Hey! It's our anniversary! WHO WANTS TO FUCK?"

You have my personal guarantee that she'll be sound asleep, and you will be free of harrassment until AT LEAST the next morning.

OK, Mrs. Flow, what should he do in this situation?

His wife acted like a bitch. He should just bend over and take it?

Unless he has a pattern of screwing up their anniversary in the past, there isn't much you can say to defend her actions here.

I knew better than to have posted this, but I had to tell someone. The problem with telling friends about problems betweeen couples is that they always take your side and this very rarely leads to a good outcome. I'm thinking Mrs Flow knows exactly what I am talking about from her post. The wife did tell me about the meeting earlier (like a week or two ago) and neither of us remembered the anniversary. The wife came home from the meeting wanting to go out. By which time I was in no condition to go out. Had not slept hardly any the night before and both my knee and my shoulder that I have had recent surgery on were really hurting me. So I took 2 aleve, 1 percoset, one ambien and 1 scotch and layed back on the couch and went to sleep. She woke me up and I told her leave me alone T'is morning now and I am up and she is still asleep (she stays up really late because of here job hours) and I hope today will be a better day. She works tonight and tomorrow night, but is off monday and I have plans to do the dinner and movie then. Also I spent some money that we really did not need to on two cell phones for us. Never had one before and this seemed like a good deal. I found a deal on tracfones. I bought two of these. One motorola phone, one years activation, 450 minutes airtime for $99. I was just looking for something for emergencies and things and this seemed good with no monthly bill. Works out to about 9bucks a month. In this post I made my wife sound really bad. In fact she is my best friend and my soulmate and I don't think I could ever live without her. Our marriage is not perfect, but what one is? We have been talking of going back to England for our 20th anniversary like we did for our 10th if we can afford it and all. That would be in 2009, hopefully I am all healed and have been back to work for a long time by then.

Make love, not war.

Or get married and do both.

Marriage. BAH!

I can't envision any scenario that involves going to a strip club with a brother-in-law. Either I'm shitting on his sister, or he's shitting on mine.

I've been known to make one days in advance, as long as I've done a little spousal coordination before hand. Had you discussed your anniversary plans before that day? Not saying it wasn't a bitchy thing to do, but I get the feeling that you guys may not talk much?

So much hatred here.

So that means he should tell her some of the things that he has been told to tell her here in this thread. I guarantee if he does he will get into a rip roaring fight and spend a miserable next day to a couple of days.

He said right after that how she had told him about this a week to two weeks before and that they had both forgotten their anniversary.

And you know what, Flow always tries to feel me out before he schedules something, just so something like this doesn't happen. He doesn't even have to tell me he is up to something he just being courteous.

And what are you people, 16. It's the day the church was open. That is what you are celebrating. If you have to celebrate on your anniversary, that doesn't say much about your marriage. Your anniversary is about celebrating your life together not a single day, so it can be done another day.



Oh and Fuck off. Get the stick out of your ass.

Oh hell yes, I can look! But the guy married to my sister better not be thinking about such ideas!

My wife's brothers are much too young to be suitable comrades.

Well... erhm.. No. You're wrong. From the initial post, it sounds like she sprung the info about having something else to do on him right when he informed her about the dinner plans. The info that they both had forgotten and that he had known for two weeks about her thing, was not posted 'right after" but only 5 hours ago, after most of the comments, and after you posted your 'let's get him a divorce' drama comment. Nobody said that. (at least Nick didn't mean it and if Justlee said it - well he's on ignore so I wouldn't know). Fact is the info he presented at first was that she bitched at him while she was the one who had forgotten. In that scenario, yes, she should apologise.

With the new info, I'd say it was a stupid thing to forget his wife's other thing and it would be a smart move to remind her to keep the evening free - but even then - as the day approached, it must have become clear to her as well how bad her planning had been. She might have checked back with him, don't you think? No drama, just checking. And no matter what scenario, the bitching seems uncalled for unless he provoked it and failed to tell us about that too. She chews his ass off? She's the one who made plans.

But yeah - posting a minor marital hickup in the WF red room? Not a good idea either.