Weird Flatmate Advice Needed

What's your point?

Most people wouldn't take that as a positive, but you probably hear "worldly and scholarly" when you read something like that.

People in Chicago use the that term. The owner buys a 2-flat, 3-flat or 4-flat - lives in one and rents the others.

oh no.
no. no. no. no.

You've got bigger problems than roommates my friend.

We need a Wordforge intervention.
Stat.

Have him wake up to find you holding a cushion inches in front of his face. Make sure he sees it, then put it down awkwardly and tell him you were "just tucking him in."

I can't think of weirder flatmate advice than that.

I saw this on Tosh.O
Cover the floor in front of the front door in baby oil.

Oddly enough ..., I agree with this. both that it's weird and it's the thing to do.

Idle students = Wealthy parents paying every penny.

Well, if nothing else this should be an object lesson in reading every word of things you sign and understanding what you're agreeing to before putting your signature on it.

Better make sure you can't be sued if the landlord catches you with room mates. He may do a surprise check and it's usually obvious when multiple people live somewhere.

Delaware has no job.
Lives in an apartment paid for by his parents.
And speaks in a fake English accent.

I can't believe so many people WANT to stay over there.

No. I have not spoken to them since I was a minor.

He does kinda sound like that he's the weird "flatmate".

I wonder if somewhere out on some other obscure BBS is a post about him.

And I don't speak with an English accent, I just type with it.

Hell, I use the term 'flat' because 'apartment' is just too fucking unwieldy.

While I prefer and appreciate other British terms (lorry, lift, bonnet, etc), I use the American equivalents for everything else.

Chicago is for retards.


I know it's not to you Bicky, but your quote was responsible for me seeing it in the first plac.e

The rest of the civilized world in the U.S. (oh, but that already excludes Chicago anyway) calls it 2-unit, 3-unit or 4-unit.

I don't live in Chicago and I don't ever plan on doing so

Have you tried catching the guy asleep and putting his hand in a bowl of warm water?

I now know "Delaware" is not from Delaware. No one uses the word "flat" in that context here.

No, he's in fruit and nut land.

Then he'd just ruin my couch.

I've never claimed otherwise.

Here's an idea, Cupcake -- try kicking yourself in the nuts until the guy gets nervous and backs out of the room. Rinse and repeat until the time he backs out of the room and just keeps right on going.

You're catchin' on.

What's the deal, Muad? I thought we were bros.

Well, if your uninvited guest doesn't piss your couch, Skin will happily pick up the slack.

Here's an idea....
Sell the couch.

It's almost new, and there's no way I'd even get back a fraction of this expensive-ass couch's price on resale, especially damaged resale.

I really was expecting to call the other guys "blokes" at some point...bad enough to be pretentious but to not even be internally consistent?

SLACKER!

He wasn't here when I woke up this morning (though he was when I went to sleep), and his bike's gone, but the guitar and some other things are still around. Cautiously optimistic.

pawn the guitar

Stop.

Don't do anything to his property. If you confront him and he gets nasty and just leaves everything there - then you can pawn it.

Until then, it doesn't belong to you. Don't touch it.