Why Must Kids Be So Ungrateful?

My mother can cook like a friggin chef.

And my dad....well he can make a good slum-gullion*.

*our name for scrambled hamburger, gravy, mushrooms, and mixed vegetables poured over whipped potatoes.

Larry Craig?

Hey, we're supporting some of those girl's college careers!

Good grief, Liver and Onions?

I think you'd be pushing your luck with the best-behaved of children.

Agreed. I like meat, all kinds of meat, but I've never been able to work up the courage to try organ meat.

I think the only food I wasn't too crazy about as a kid were my mom's red beans.

My brother OTOH went through a phase of only eating potatoes when he was five, which ticked my family off when we went out to eat at Fresh Choice and had to pay six dollars a plate.

Man, I haven't had liver and onions in twenty five years. I suppose it's Ok, until the idea of it being a filter comes to mind. Push comes to shove, I'd eat it again, but I'm not too much for forcing Mine to eat something she can't stomach.

My Pop on the other hand if caught in the wrong mood would tell me to eat it or wear it.

I made the mistake of calling his bluff once. Once.
I needed a shower anyway....

I think it's ironic that you bitch about liberty and freedom, and then come to us when your kid does the same thing.

Kids should be lucky to have any freedoms. Just ask those unpaid orphans that work in Thailand.

Midol.

Seriously, keep a box around.

Also, liver and onions...yeah, I have to agree you just can't get most kids on the planet, and a sizable number of adults, to eat that.

Me, I suck with that kind of stuff, my kids are the most spoiled pickey eaters...once won't eat anything sweet that isn't cherry flavored (drinks, yogurt, etc) the other hates cherry and only like strawberry, the third hates both of those...one won't eat cooked mushrooms, the other won't eat them raw, the third won't eat onions...so beef stroganoff if out and that's my favorite food.

One will only eat fast food at Burger King, the only McDonalds (and she other saw that "The King Does Ass to Mouth" av and now tells her brother "that's so true" and "the food tastes like ass anyway")....the third, yes, you guessed it, only likes Taco Bell. (I hate 'em all, but sometimes we are out in a hurry, and low on cash, and I don't want to have to go to every damned joint on the street for five different things. Pizza is the same. None of them like the same pizza joint.)

They ALL like steak. Rare. But fuck, so do I, but I can't afford it every night.

My oldest will eat mash potatoes, and would ONLY eat that or baked potatoes if given the chance. Ever. And by mashed potatoes, I mean she'll eat a spoonful of taters topped with precisely 2 & 1/2 cups of gravy. Really, the taters are just a delivery system for the gravy. I don't know why she doesn't just inject the stuff.

My son, he will eat hot sauce on everything. And I mean hot. He's 10 and will eat jalapenos, that "Rooster Sauce" (Thai Sriracha chili sauce) on fries, all the while complaining loudly that the sauce is not near hot enough.

But that boy ain't right in the head. Seriously, I should tape some of the stuff he does...I think he's on drugs. Or needs to be on drugs. Something for hyperactivity. He also needs to learn that the people on Jackass are not creative geniuses, Mentos and Diet Pepsi and toilets don't mix, it's not funny, and mixing up and pouring the stuff under your friend's mother's sink into to toilet and flushing it will not create "cool mutants" in the sewers, and if it did, they probably wouldn't be loyal to you, no, we can't re-test out Mythbusters experiments in the basement, and no, calling Homeland Security and telling them you are setting off a home made nuke in Yellowstone to trigger a supervolcano eruption and destroy to trigger another ice age is not "good idea", will not reverse global warming, and they would likely arrest you and send you to Gitmo, not help you acquire weapons grade plutonium.

(Future Darwin Award Winner, I am predicting this now...)

But his idea to hook the contestants on Fox's "Moment of Truth" to a device that would electrically shock them when they fail the lie detector tests...I think that would make the show "more interesting"

I blame my ex. They weren't this way before the divorce.

Now, their 1/2 sister, who I babysit sometimes, she is 3 and will just spit out anything I she doesn't like and yell "Yuck!". She's slightly autistic, and usually well behaved but she will grab your hand - or the nearest person's hand - and WILL spit out her food into it if she hates it - all in about .002 microseconds flat. Forget about getting her to eat anything she doesn't want. She'll starve first, our you'll wear the food.

And she hates cheese. What kids doesn't like cheese!?

But their 1/2 brother...he's 2, not my kid, but I love him to death. He still thinks I am a God and will unquestioningly eat anything I give him. All of it. If I eat it, he figure's it's good. (Which is weird, because his dad is a jerk about food he doesn't like - which is everything not a cheeseburger.) The other day, the kid ate saltimbocca I made. And pickled garlic and chocolate covered pretzels at the same time. He even likes sushi. (The Jolt Cola, on reflection...it wasn't such a good idea to let him try that. And his mom was kinda pissed about that anyway.) But he just eats whatever. But only if he sees me eat it or cook it first or hand it too him. He's a little mimic. If I do it, he wants to do it.

I figure it won't last forever, especially when he's old enough the figure out that I am not his other daddy, and the mean guy he doesn't really get along with and who ignores him is his daddy. And he'll probably hate me. But for now, he's the only kid I can feed anything. Which is REALLY odd for a 2 year old, they can be pretty finicky at that age.

Hell, he'd probably even eat liver and onions...in fact, I'll bet he would.

And I tell my kids that's exactly where I am going to send them when they piss me off.

When the kids can pay their own way they can have liberty and freedom. So long as their existance is subsidized by me, I make the decisions.

My kid does pretty good, broccoli, cauliflower, cucumbers, steak, noodles, she was sucking salsa off of chips at a few months old. Sit her down to eat and she'll fidget, leave a pile of broccoli (trees) sitting on the counter, and she'll wear a path in the linoleum going back until it's gone. She once ate a 16oz can of whole black olives in one sitting. And I fully expect to lop off one of her fingers because she keeps reaching for sliced bell peppers or cheese.

So I just leave a little offering on the corner of the counter to appease the savage beast.

The solution is simple -- don't have kids and you won't have to put up with their incessant, self-important, ungrateful whining.

For some reason I picture your daughter as Fern from Charlotte's Web.

My kids are both pretty good about eating food, although we watch what they eat like a hawk. My daughter has a bit of sweet tooth and my son is a picky eater unless he's in a growth spurt.

Now, I can bet neither of them would eat liver and onions. In fact, and nothing personal JCD, but if you tried to serve it to me, I'd have to run down to the local Targetmasters, wait my five days, and then shoot you down where you stood.

Livers are for abusing with well-aged whiskey. Not for frying.

I can understand not accepting attitude and refusing to prepare another special meal, but liver and onions? Come on, now. That's just mean. Get a box of cheerios and give her some kind of choice as long as she is respectful and not rude about it, IMO.

I sometimes eat liver, onions, gravy and mash given a choice

I also buy ox liver for the dog, so I'm not sure what that says about my taste.

I cannot abide by someone advocating that type of violence.

I've had really nice liver as part of mixed grills, but I've had some dire stuff as well. It seems to vary depending on the beast and the chef.

Was never keen on kidneys, though, and that's about as far as my offal adventures have taken me.

I don't understand the logic of trying to force children to eat food that they don't like. Hell, I don't like liver and onions. And when I was a kid, I went through a phase where I didn't think I liked pizza and hot dogs. Eventually I grew out of it and now I think 3/4 of my body is comprised of pizza. All you do when you try to force-feed kids things they don't like is set up a battle of wills that creates resentment and hostility.

That's a severely fucked up viewpoint.

I have to wonder if this is a battle of wills going on here now that you mention it. Are you just being a prick about this JCD, trying to show you are in command?

If there is even a little of that going on then perhaaps a sit down with the family and a full explination of your feelings on things.

Kids can indeed be real ingrates, but really it comes from what they've been taught coming up. There's more than one way to skin a cat. Open up a little to them and you'd be surprised at the results.

Nope, at some point you have to make a stand. If you pour that kid some Cheerios you'll be pouring that kid Cheerios for the next eighteen years. The next thing you know your kid won't like shellfish, won't eat chicken off the bone, and will be eating their steak well done.

I had honey nut cheerios for breakfast.

One thing is to give them a choice...well, to make them think they have a choice, when it's really just a choice between two choices you choose.

Did that make any sense!?

Choose two things you are willing make. Ask them if they want one, or the other. They think they have a choice, and they feel empowered, but really, you are just giving them two limited predetermined options.

Okay, well, that's works for a while at least. Kids are fast learners. Our ape brains figure out this social manipulation stuff really quick, and kids learn quick.

Like for example, hen I once tired a leash on my then 1 & 1/2 year old daughter, she took about naught point two seconds to discover the entire history of passive resistance.

Leash went on (and it was just on of those with a strap around my wrist, and one exactly the same around her's) and anyway, leash went on, kid instantly hit the floor and went all freakin' Gandhi, splayed out face down like dead weight and wouldn't move an inch. I had to carry her if I wanted her to move, like I was a cop and she was a hippie protester and this was the 1968 Democratic national convention.

That was $7.50 that went right in the trash...

(But I got a backpack, and she loved riding in that, so...)

Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch is like little balls of orgasm in your mouth!

Frosted flakes are corn! You should be pimping wheat!

Does any wheat cereal have a mascot? I am Tony the Tiger's bitch.