Bullying is nothing new in our society and unfortunately it is not going to go away. It can't be legislated away either. I find it very sad when I learn about pretty much any human being that has chosen to take to their own life. I often wonder how anyone could feel so trapped, without hope, un-loved to take their own life. In my opinion when children as well as young adults as is the case with the young man and university student who killed himself after having his sex run on the internet by his roommate, that is a failure of the school/university system as well as that young mans parents. Why did that individual not feel he could go to his parents or family for support? Is the univeristy not providing easy access to students to report problems or deal with problems of being tormented by other students? I can't even imagine the pain and loss those parents have to be feeling after something like that either.
I was a nerd. I played french horn in the band, was on the speech and debate team. I was gawky and of course I didn't date in school. All my friends were guys, but I never had any interest in dating any of them. This of course lead to my favorite(insert sarcastic tone here) nick-name, butch. One girl, in particular, actually convinced the one crush I had that I was a lesbian. The guy never said more than, "Hey." to me after that and I think I gave up the idea of ever having a boyfriend because of what that bitch said. I am strictly dickly. There are very few women who I can stand to even talk to so you bet I have no lesbian fantasies, but I was bullied as a homosexual all the same. I never considered suicide. I had very supportive parents who raised me to know that what people think is not what matters. They taught me that kids are cruel, but I am stronger. Bullying is a problem. Not just bullying homosexuals. I was lucky to have the family I had, but few are blessed as I was. Not everyone is provided the same coping tools. My 10 year reunion was last month. I went long enough to grab a drink and say hello to a few old friends. I also got the secret pleasure of learning that the primary bully got fat, was stuck in that go-nowhere quickly, redneck town and was married to a really ugly jerk. I smiled to myself, finished my Guinness and left. It does get better.
To a point. It all comes down to confidence. If a neglected child has had to do certain things on his/her own and developed the confidence in their own abilities, then they're less likely to be bullied. On the other hand, if the neglected child ends up at the mercy of ... well, everyone, and never develop any confidence in their abilities, they are most likely to not only be bullied, but to fall victim to the depression that will certainly follow. The "mean girl" from my hometown - the one that wanted to be the one everyone bowed down to - is still there running rampage over all the other women who still live in that same small town. She's on my facebook - no idea why I accepted her friend request, but ... I'm sure she was just being nosy. Anyway, she still makes snide comments, but, just like in elementary school, junior high and high school, I just laugh at her and continue on my business.
Gays don't have a monopoly on bullying. Inclusive social ideals are all well and good, but don't let them grow up soft, with the idea that they are a special, protected class, because it doesn't matter what anyone thinks they should have to put up with, and it doesn't matter how rigidly the rules are written. There will always be domineering cowardly shitfucks who think picking on weaker, more vulnerable people is something to be proud of, because society enables it. Dick-waving meat heads are glorified and celebrated. Don't you even fucking deny it. There is no hope to be found in teaching their victims that school faculties and the police are there for them. They aren't. What is needed is a counter-balance to that permissive institutional bias. Instead of teaching them to choke back their rage and place their faith in the system, teach them to channel it, focus it, make it their own. Show them that sometimes, the only "coping tool" you need is the big fucking crowbar you pull out of your trunk to split some goddamned kneecaps. If you think you're gonna off yourself anyway, what's to lose?
I got bullied plenty as a kid, but no one ever even suggested I was gay. (And that despite my total failure to date during my school years.) On top of that, home life was sometimes bad, and sometimes worse. Church friends made a difference, though, even though all I knew at the time was religion. (This was before I moved beyond religion and discovered a personal relationship with God.) If school and home were difficult, some friends from the church, one of whom basically filled the role of father for me throughout my teen-age years, kept me going. Today, no one bullies me and no one makes fun of me (except on-line personnas who don't know me personally). It does indeed get better. As Rifle Spryte said, the bullies mostly ended up in dead-ends. I could say I "got the last laugh" on them, except that I don't feel like laughing. I just feel sorry for them.
Emphasis mine. A strong, supportive family makes all the difference in these scenarios. Gay kids are at added risk because they've often been rejected by their families before they even have to confront the rest of the world.
One of the sad things about the homosexual mindset is that I don't think it allows the mind to function normally in any way - all alpha male instinct is lost. In some cases, the ability to fight back is completely erased.
Back in his high school days, Skinofevil was actually Skinofgoodnaturedandeasygoing. Naturally, that attracted the attention of the jock crowd, because whatever mechanisms are at play in the primitive hindbrains of high school jocks demanded that the kid who never gave anybody any trouble should be on the receiving end of trouble himself. So Skin tried out the bullying thing. Didn't much care for it. Tracked down the star of that particular show and gave a good showing of convincing him that Skin thought his face looked like a baseball, then intimated that if he said anything to anyone about what Skin had done, his first introduction to the bat would only be a sample. Sometimes the answer to the mean, scary motherfucker is to be a meaner and scarier motherfucker -- provided you know where to draw the line and are indeed able to draw that line once the lesson's been taught.
While bullying has and always will happen, there are things that should be done about it. Teachers and school staff should bd required to report bullying they witness to school authorities. If they don't they should go to jail. Make them mandated reporters. School authorities that don't do anything, jail too. Oh yes, and if the victim commits suicide because they dud not report and/or act they should be charged with negligent homicide.
What confused me at my 10-year high school reunion was that all the guys who picked on me acted like adults and were friendly and courteous toward me. Somtimes, I guess, the bullies grow out of that mindset and realize what they were. As the picked-on, you just have to survive it.
I agree but even that isn't foolproof: http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/video?id=7716056&syndicate=syndicate§ion It seems that in this case the girl was as much afraid of what she EXPECTED to happen as what was happening. of course, the parents will SAY they were supportive and we have no proof that's true but whatchagonnado? The thing though, that I'm trying to get at is that there's such a "mythology" that the whole world is against you that it's hard for some teens to seethe support they get from friends and family as a sufficient counterweight to what's "out there" in the world. and it really is not as bad as the horror stories suggest. It IS bad, it's a lot worse than it ought to be, and it is worse for an LGBT person than for racial or other inborn traits (or so it seems)* but it is NOT, really, "the whole world is against me" but from what i read in comments from young adult/teens in these situations, it really does seem that way to them. *I think it's worse because so many people still perceive that LGBT status is optional, as opposed to inborn. Whatever a person thinks of, for instance, blacks - no one proposes to beat a black man until he decides to quit being black.
I don't think that's necessarily true. The Stonewall riots were a counter-example, as are the bullshit stuff done by ACT-UP in their day. There is, among gays, a diversity of personalities (and levels of aggressiveness) as with all people. Albeit, there probably is a higher percentage of that which you describe, for a variety of reasons.
Let's remember, though, that teenagers in general, gay or straight, tend to feel persecuted, whether they actually are or not. They're still learning to be socialized, and every slight, real or imagined, gets exaggerated. Add being "different" - whatever that difference might be - to the mix, and it can be volatile.
I think that's a gross generalization, nor is the ability to stand up for oneself tied to alpha male instinct, concepts like masculinity aren't tied to sexual preference they are tied to self identity. I know men who are pansies and straight and gays who are secure as all fuck.
You know, I'd be outraged if I saw kids getting bullied to this extent regardless of their sexual orientation. But you know what? Learning it after the kids offed themselves gets a big 'meh' out of me. Killing yourself because your feelings are hurt is pretty much the ultimate selfish act. Life is hard, then you die. There are valid reasons to off yourself, but I don't put 'they laughed at me' in that group.
Fuck off with that shit. A person who commits suicide isn't doing this to be selfish, but, blaming that person because you 'didn't' or 'couldn't' see the depression is emotional masturbation, you're just making excuses for yourself.
My heart goes out to the kids. The thing to understand is that their brain isn't wired up like yours or mine (if you're my age). I've learned a lot that gives me more perspective and coping mechanisms. Heck, I've went back and read stuff I wrote when I was 19 or 20 and am amazed by how immature and self-indulgent it is. I can only imagine what I was like at 15 or so. And at that age, you're taught to take things to the adults and Authority to resolve. Can you imagine if you did that over and over and got no results? You'd feel like you didn't have any other options.
Forget about teaching kids that things will be okay. Because nothing is really okay until the kids learn to stand up for themselves. My brother and I used to be badly bullied when we were in elementary school. We were overly emotional, and that's chum to the sharks that wander the school looking for someone weaker to torment. It finally stopped when I got sick of it and started fighting back. One time a bigger kid was picking on me and I knew I couldn't take him in a fair fight, so I took off my belt and used it against him. I got in trouble for it, but the fucker never bothered me again. Instead killing themselves, these need to be taught how to kick these bullies asses! Teach these kids tae kwon do and have them open up a can of whoop ass on the bullies that torment them. After a few broken noses and knee caps, maybe the bullies will learn to stop fucking with other people and mind their own goddamn business.
"Suzana Vidovic found her sister's body hanging over the front lawn. The family watched, she said, as the girls who had tormented Sladjana for months walked up to the casket -- and laughed." First they should have never been there and second if they laughed I'd smash their faces into the casket.
If she were my daughter/sister the local mortuary would have received an order for a few more caskets.
Didn't you harass the shit out of a transgendered teen back in TNZ? And then on his Livejournal? It was Valeris, right? Eat a dick, Kirk. Then choke on it.
Oh yeah, I originally meant to bump this because tomorrow is "wear a purple shirt" day in honour of this particular cause. I'm off to the mall to get mine.
Hillary Clinton speaking about teen bullying and suicide. She recorded this message for GLIFAA, Gays and Lesbians in Foreign Affairs Agencies, which represents lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) personnel and their families in the U.S. Department of State, U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), Foreign Commercial Service, Foreign Agricultural Service, and other foreign affairs agencies and offices in the U.S. Government. I rarely ever think about my own experiences as a gay youth, but Hillary, thank you for caring enough to do this. You really are a true leader.
