You Poor Canadians

Tim Hortons is some good coffee.

I've got 8lbs of it in my pantry.

I do not think muchh of Tim Horton's, coffee or donuts.

Good.

So, in other words, the fact that Canada isn't a giant asshole on the world stage is a bad thing?

Brilliant thread!

It's a running joke. Just like Canada.

I'm quite happy to live in a fictional country that's a running joke.

You don't see people who hate Canada so much that they're willing to fly planes into our buildings.

You don't see people who hate Canada so much that they burn our flag or attack our embassies.

You don't see Canada spending trillions of dollars to send our children overseas to die in third world shitholes over geopolitical and corporate gamesmanship.

You don't see race riots (hello, Ferguson), lower life expectancies and higher child mortality rates in Canada.

So, yeah. Happy to be a joke.

I agree, you don't see Canada taking much of a stand of any kind in world affairs. Its easy not to be hated when your country is not seen as a world leader.But rest assured, you're seen as an infedel along with the rest of us. The only difference is you're harder to reach.

With only accounting for 2.9 percent of the population you don't see many blacks in canada either.

Good for you. Some countries strive to be the world leader while others strive to be the court jester.

Which are we, again?

Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
With their beady little eyes
And flapping heads all full of lies!
Blame Canada!
They're not even a real country any way.

So basically the world is full of douchebag countries with douchebag problems, except Canada?

Sounds about right.

Why is being a "world leader" (whatever that is anyway) such a great thing? Have you even read history?!?

And why the hell would you want to be a leader of this group of fucked up homo sapiens anyway? We're constantly killing each other over trivial things like the colour of our skin, or which imaginary god we worship, or who has the most dinosaur farts in the ground to drill.

World leader? No fucking thanks.

Canadistanians are just the sort of douchebags who would see things that way.

I think Dunkin' Donuts has gone downhill as well.

That's because, unlike your super awesome country, we didn't kidnap them by the millions to be slaves. Yeah, I know you abolished slavery in 1865... but not so anyone would notice.



(In fairness, Canada does treat our aboriginal population like shit. But that's only because we didn't kill them all like your super awesome country did.)

and if it wasn't for us - Canada would be under a German or Japanese flag or even Mexican

Canadian arrogance - is what? based on being nothing to anyone? Well good on you guys!!!!

It did not have far to fall.

All of which is easier to achieve when you're protected by the world's best armed forces, but don't actually have to pay for them or deal with the negatives that come with being the one providing the protection.

I think we all Know who the King of donuts and Koffee is.

Krispy Kreme has decent donuts for a chain. But the best donuts come from the mom and pops, and not from Canada (have to stay on topic folks).

Totally. It's pretty sweet!

Using the transitive property, our US provided defense umbrella pays for the awesome health care system. Pentagon spending supports socialism up North!

I appreciate the compliment.

Oh, sorry. You were referring to the U.S. military?

So who or what, exactly, are you protecting us from? Yourselves? The only border we share is with the United States.

Yes, the evil Russkies could have launched a sea or air attack over the North Pole during the Cold War. But really? Are you freakin' kidding me?

Remind me of how countries with small militaries but large resources on the border of the USSR faired during the Stalin era?

Yeah, the US power definitely allowed Canada to spend less on its military resources than otherwise.

If it wasn't for that, we could be talking about the Russian incursion into Manitoba right now after their annexation of Vancouver, instead of the Ukraine and Crimea.

Right, because in the age of ICBMs, the only way a nation can be threatened is by a country with which it shares a border.

The world knows that allies of the United States are Not To Be Fucked With. And, yes, that means our military is protecting those allies, no matter how much their citizens may turn up their noses at us for it.

Thank you for the foreboding sense of despair and ruin, Americans. Don't worry, between the snowbirds of Canada and the illegal immigrants of Mexico, we'll change your country for the better.

VOTE HARPER

Shouldn't you be worried about those shifty Danes launching an invasion from Greenland?

"Canadian money is also called the loony. How can you take an economic crisis seriously?"
- Robin Williams