25 ways to annoy a Yankee

1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

2. Pronounce all one-syllable words as if they had two syllables.

3. When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses them no end!

4. Talk REAL slow, and (even when you hear them the first time) always ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

7. Refer to every soft drink as a "Coke."

8. Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

9. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

10. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie, John Michael, Jim Bob, etc. . . .)

11. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

12. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words.

14. Put Tabasco on everything.

15. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!", say "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies . . . preferably the banana ones.

17. Name all of your children "Bubba".

18. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction.

19. "Mash" buttons. "Cut off" lights. "Carry" the kids to school. Always remember (especially in Texas) it's not a "pond", it's a "tank."

20. Never simply "do" something. Always be "fixin' to do" something.

21. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

22. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations . . . Offends the devil out of 'em.

23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP.

Anyway, turn right there . . . " "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town . . . "

24. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

25. Call 'em a yankee. Works every time!

That's gotta annoy a Yankee.

Alright, Pardot wins. Its over, everyone go home.

Every damn one of 'em!!

I used to work in customer service for a company. Got a call from some guy in Texas. I answer the phone and he says 'Hey there Little Lady!'

And I said, "Hey there, Little Man!'





He was not amused.

We prefer 'fella' or 'big fella', thanks.

And, actually turning to the list:

Hell yeah, that's annoying. What self-respecting person uses such a pussy hot sauce anyway? I don't care if you put Dave's Ultimate Insanity or hotter on everything, but sheesh, you've gotta be able to do better than very mildly spiced vinegar!

I've been here my whole life basically and I'm still not used to waitresses calling me "hon" or "sug".

At least Tabasco actually has some flavor and doesn't leave your asshole burning for three solid days.

A friend of mine did a year at Georgia Tech, and kept thinking the waitresses were hitting on him.

:flow2:

As someone who lives in the north, but has lots of family in the south, this list is completely ineffective.


1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
Fine with me. My time is your time, too.

2. Pronounce all one-syllable words as if they had two syllables.
Not an issue with me at all.

3. When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left." Confuses them no end!
Except that I know what's being said. I still use the word "right" when giving directions, like "when you take a left, it's right there around the corner."


4. Talk REAL slow, and (even when you hear them the first time) always ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.
Nope. It don't annoy me. I just assume you got kicked in the head by an ass and can't understand me well. No problems there.

5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"
To which I respond, "but I drove here." It don't annoy me at all. I just get a chuckle out of the fact this southerner just told me to take a plane up north. What, driving is too good for you? Nothing wrong with a station wagon or a pickup truck to get home.

6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.
Don't bother me none. I'll just keep talking about my beloved NASCAR.

7. Refer to every soft drink as a "Coke."
No problem there, either. A coke's a coke, even if it's actually a Coke.

8. Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.
Mmm...sweet tea and grits, with extra honey and butter.

9. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.
Gladly accepted.

10. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie, John Michael, Jim Bob, etc. . . .)
No problem. When I'm down home at my cousin's house, it's John William (pronounced 'John We'em") or John boy. I'm happy with both.

11. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."
I'd agree. There was nothing civil about it at all.

12. Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".
I'm fine with that. Old habits die hard, it ain't an issue.

13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words.
That's fine with me, too. I'll do the same.

14. Put Tabasco on everything.
Tabasco has a fine flavor.

15. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!", say "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"
This don't apply to me, but I have said the same thing.

16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies . . . preferably the banana ones.
Hot damn. But you better bring cokes to drink them with.

17. Name all of your children "Bubba".
Only if you want other southern folk to laugh their asses off at you. It wouldn't bother me none, though.

18. Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction.
I reckon that might bother me if I didn't do it myself, once in a while.

19. "Mash" buttons. "Cut off" lights. "Carry" the kids to school. Always remember (especially in Texas) it's not a "pond", it's a "tank."
I don't see anything wrong with this sentence.

20. Never simply "do" something. Always be "fixin' to do" something.
Like how I say I'm fixin' to run down to the store and get some things.

21. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.
That would be true, so no annoyance there.

22. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations . . . Offends the devil out of 'em.
Now why would it do that?

23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP.
Hell, that's how I drive.

Anyway, turn right there . . . " "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town . . . "
Hell, me too. They can't keep nothing in this town anymore that don't get bought and sold the next year.

24. Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.
Nice. Although if I'm there, then apparently I'm also enjoying the warm weather, too. And what the hell are you doin' driving around in a convertible, city boy?

25. Call 'em a yankee. Works every time!
Works every time for what? Like being called a Yankee bothers me.




J.

J. Allen.....dude....answers to all the question were not required.

You give the impression that you believe all that crap.

A real Yankee woulda said..."Fuck all that dumb shit! Get my friggin' Coke! Chop, chop!"

I live in southwestern Ohio. I get a cross culture of the south and the north every day. Most of my family is from the south. Hell, my dad still says "mash buttons" and "cut off the lights". I have a real fondness for the south, while still liking my own home.

J.

Sheeesh! Somebody turn this mug off.

What, you don't like my different point of view?

J.

Ya trying to play both sides of the Mason-Dixon.

For some of those southern fried girls? Hell yeah.


J.

Ok, I'll give you that. A valid reason I approve of.

He's a Yankee. What do you think?

That bugs my wife something fierce, but I barely notice it when they do it to me. Hell, I just figure all waitresses talk that way.

Or simply use the phrase "raise a ruckus".

Pretty much nothing on that list annoys me.

Some of it would make me think you are stupid though.

None of that really annoys me.

In fact, I think I'd enjoy the South if I ever went to visit, if the list is any indication of Southern culture.

Southern culture. That's a good one.

Huh. Interesting.

I typically demand it, and I am not even from the south!

That's the thing; it doesn't. Vinegar, salt, and a bit of slightly hot pepper. That's all Tabasco gives you. That's a fine salad dressing if you toss in some olive oil, but it's not a hot sauce, and it's not something you can't easily mix to taste on your own without paying extra for the brand name. Just about any other mild hot sauce you can buy has more flavor.

One way to annoy a Southerner:

1. You lost and that ain't changin', hon.

Kinda like black culture, eh?

I've always assumed that's the equivalent of the English 'luv' which never implies any real affection, just that the speaker is female, and while officially in a subservient position, can actually make your life hell if you get too smart with her...

I think I see another reason they lost the war (or "woahwa") - they were busy thinking up stuff that would annoy the North (or "Nowth") while the North (or "Yaynkees") was making actual battle plans