Dayton3/Tracker/Dayton Kitchen’s Greatest Hits

I'll go in order if you don't mind:

1) I am disliked by a number of people not on this forum. But far, far from all. And not even everyone on this forum dislikes me. If you doubt that, start a poll or something.

2) Yes, I have numerous enemies in real life.

3) What makes you think being fired from jobs has anything to do with making enemies? Two of the jobs I lost I was pretty well liked by everyone I worked with. The job I lost that I liked most was for the simple reason that the school had to downsize coaching staff. That school has closed now by the way.

4) I haven't made any effort to make friends either so that is pretty irrelevant. My standards are extremely high.

5) I do not consider all my problems to be the fault of others. Some have been of my own making. But I do not like to dwell on those for obvious reasons.

Hope that provides the answers you need.

I don't think literally everyone here dislikes you. But certainly a majority do and/or don't respect you.

Why? I don't, and you'd think someone in my profession would at least pick up some along the way!

It's not the firing, but rather your attitude towards people involved in the negative aspects of your working life.

Which ones were they?

So what would meet your standards?

What ones?

Why? Reflecting on out our failings helps us learn and develop (which of course takes us back to the question of education from experience).

Not remotely. It still doesn't address the overriding question I put to you, which is if so many people disagree with you, how can it be a logical premise that lots of people, independently of one another, dislikes you, and that their disliking is entirely their own doing? In other words, do you not believe that the behaviour of one human being can change the perception of that human being in the eyes of another?

In answer to the last question I would say "not easily".

It has been my experience that a vast number of people in the United States at least put massive amounts of stock in first impressions.

I'll be perfectly honest in general I don't make a very good first impression at all though from what I've heard it has gotten considerably better over the years.

I personally put no stock whatsoever in my first impressions of people for the following reasons:

1) It is arrogant. It assumes that a person has the magical ability to summarize the totality of another person simply upon first meetings

2) It is lazy. It excuses a person from getting to know another person and simply going on what they feel in a single encounter.

3) It is wrong in my opinion. I've met too many people who I cared little for based on first impression. One became arguably the best friend I ever had.

I give off a bad first impression for various reasons:

1) I don't like to meet new people so if I am meeting people at least in the past I've given off a noticeable "vibe" that I don't want to be there.

2) This is something I wasn't aware of for years.

I'm considered scary. I've been told by more than one person (including my wife) that I have the eyes of a serial killer. That in addition to being rather large, hairy, and imposing.

In fact I've had to take special precautions to be seen as less intimidating and ominous. Including wearing glasses, carrying books, et cetera..

3) Regarding women. My wife has pointed out that most women that meet me do not like me at all. She explained that most women when meeting a man will subconsciously send out a "friendly overture" (called flirting sometimes) that even if it means nothing to them has the effect of "sounding out" a man to assess them.

Amy pointed out that I either respond to that subconsciously by ignoring it (contemptously) or with hostility.

Which is fine with Amy as she doesn't want me responding to friendly women at all.

What obvious reasons?

Dwelling on my own faults depresses me. Though some self reflection is good it can eventually become ineffectual navel gazing.

So you admit that it's possible?

And yet you are talking to a Briton. Yes some judge by first impressions. But can you really hold onto that for ages? People here have know you for 12 plus years. Your colleagues know you for months or years. Same for people in your community and those you meet through family, church and so on. Are you saying that all these people are all judging you based on a first impression and not the things you say or do?

Why do you think this is? Ahh, I see that you have attempted to answer that below...

Yet you judge anyone who is different from you on a superficial basis, not least non-Americans. So that makes you a hypocrit.

And yet you do this about people if they are a different race, culture or sexuality. Is it not arrogant to sum up someone based on a potentially superficial characteristic that is different from your own?

I refer to my example above. Is it not lazy to judge a human being on the basis of a superficial difference?

Then why are you so quick to judge others?

Why don't you like to meet new people? If you wish to run for office you would have to not only meet a great deal of people, but also be convincing to them in order to win them over.

We were.

Do you have a temper?

Or you could just smile and try to be friendly....

So what qualities do you suspect they dislike about you? The "bad vibes" if you will.

Why would you be hostile to a woman you have just met?

Why? A man can have female friends without any sexual or romantic element. I think Amy's attitude it wrong on this and, dare I say it, suggests insecurity and lack of trust on her part.

You? Navel gazing? I bet you've done so little that you've not even found your navel yet.

I don't consider "race", "culture", or "sexuality" to be mere superficial differences. From what I've observed to a vast number of people these things are very near defining.

Plus I regard penetrative sexual activity to be across the board immoral unless between one man and one woman who are married at that time. So there.

I do have a temper but it is very rarely publicly displayed.

And while I might prefer solitude and being alone, the world doesn't necessarily work that way. The only way I can have the things I want in life is to get out and be engaged with people. As much as that is not my thing.

In regards to my wife, she considers me immensely physically attractive (yeah I've never understood it either) so she prefers other women stay away from me.

I keep wanting to take Dayton's quotes and put them in the Greatest Hits thread, but we're already there.

Dayton, on the many ways he is an ass:

You know, when I first read this, there was something about it which just kept nagging at me. Something about it sounded so familiar, and then it hit me.

I don't know what it is, but there's just something about the tone that is so similar to me.

He's been a repressed homosexual for 15 years, anyone can see that in his postings about women and homosexuals.

This can't be real.

Famous last words.

I can't fault someone for not having the funds to travel abroad. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have visited all of the lower 48, parts of Canada and Mexico, and a handful of Caribbean islands. There are parts of the world I still want to see. In fact, I'm investigating mission work in Africa, South America, and China. But, I don't see me being able to travel to another continent for leisure within the foreseeable future.

That said, Chup is right about several of the things he mentioned. Back several years ago, I was in Miami and Superbowl weekend rolled around. Rather than be stuck in a hotel room or sports bar, one of the Miami-Dade Police Department's Captains invited me to his house for a traditional Cuban party. His father came to Miami during the revolution. It was a fantastic eye-opening experience. I had a blast and I learned so very much about Cuba and it's people in those few hours. I won't pretend to be an expert on Cuba or Cuban-American Relations, but I know a whole lot more than I did.

I've been lucky to travel fairly extensively, and anytime I was traveling I rarely went to the resort/tourist areas. They are pretty much the same all over world, shops catering to people buying mementos to take back home. They are pretty much indistinguishable from tourist areas in other places, or even places in the U.S.. If you've been to one, you've been to them all.

I love going to the ares the locals frequent, there's so much more to do or see there than anywhere else. You get the culture, the life, the food, an incredible experience. There were plenty of times where I'd catch a cab, and I'd tell the cab driver I wanted to go somewhere to eat, shop, etc.. They'd say they could take me to a tourist area, and I'd tell them I'd rather go to where he would like to eat, or where his favorite place would be. The same for shopping, going out for the night, etc..

Dayton couldn't be more wrong about his so called travel experiences, but again as everyone on here knows, he is boorish, ignorant, backwards simpleton. Hell, you could go to Disney and experience the same 'culture' in Disney's foreign land areas as you would by actually traveling to the same tourist area in the foreign country.

I could go for hours, hell days about experiences I've had in other countries. I've been on trips hosted by, and to meet heads of state, even hosted by the Prime Minister of a foreign country, to just trips for not much than to just visit a country.

I can understand how hard it is for people to leave their comfort zones. I have traveled quite a bit, but I still need to psych myself up to talk to new people out of the blue.

In regards to comfort zones I can basically these days do one thing at a time.

If I'm at a place I'm already comfortable with, I have few problems engaging complete strangers in conversation.

And If I'm with people I already know, I have few problems with exploring a place I've never been before.

But I can't strike up conversations with complete strangers in a place I've never been before.

I embarrass my family because I strike up conversations with complete strangers all the time.

My job has turned me from a painfully shy introvert into quite the opposite.

See, I'm one of those guys that loves to hear the sound of their own voice. I can talk to anyone about anything for at least a little while.

That explains a lot.

In my case, when you spend a couple of decades talking with people about their recently murdered loved one, it's pretty easy to talk to anyone else about almost any other thing.

Yep, one of my first lines when I'm introducing myself at the Hospital or with a Hospice patient is, "I'm the good guy. I'm not here to poke, prod, stick, or roll you." But, for the darker aspects, yeah, I've been there. I actually had a new ER Doc ask me if I'd be okay making a death notification.

I used to be shy and introverted too.

But after a couple years as a health care provider, I've learned how to talk to all sorts of different people whom I've never met before.

And I can easily strike up a conversation about all sorts of stuff, sometimes necessary in order to put my patients at ease and do my job.

And I've lived in five different states and eight different cities. I've pretty much had to learn to talk to people if I wanted to make any new friends.

I also love traveling and try to do it every chance I get. I have an extensive bucket list of foreign places I hope to see someday.

Man, you really highlighted the silver lining there. That doesn't sound like fun.

Even I have one of those.

Dayton, on the truthfulness of his statements:

Cue Dayton coming in and claiming that lies are different than "making stuff up" and that he was doing neither in these instances.

Have you even started it yet? That isn't meant as a burn but it is an acknowledgement that we all have limited life spans and you may want to start a savings plan if you want to check some of those boxes off.

There is a whole world out there, my friend, and you might benefit from seeing some of it.

I did one on Saturday.

Not foreign places but something I had wanted to do that I had not gotten around to.

Anal sex with a man?