I think I'm gonna post more gay...ish...oid....like.

I had lunch with a buncha people this weekend, and one of them was a flamboyently gay person. He made me feel so at ease with his, "honey", and "sweety", and "suger".

It reminded me of my Grannie's old Negra maid when I was just a little rug munchkin.

So I'm going to try to make the other WF'ers feel as welcome and at home by acting all gay when ever I think of it.

That is all.

Like Volpone level of gay or Tex level of gay?

If you call me honey I will get you run out of every gun range in TN.

Neither one. They're all butch gay.

This will be much more queen gay.

Sweetie.

Suger then?

Just be yourself. Don't worry about what the Schoolyard Set thinks of you.

The only guys who'll feel threatened are the ones who think their dicks will fall off if they don't strut around like Rambo.

What is suger?

What?

You think I'm gay?!?

I'm not gay!

Why would you say that?!?

Girlfriend, I am so totally not gay!

Sweetie.

Apparently, it's a Gay, and/or Black thing.

Precisely. You're a straight man secure enough not to be bothered by the sniggering of the fifth-graders holding onto their teeny weenies and calling you names.

... damn, I must be falling behind. I don't think it ever occurred to me to call someone sugar, or honey.

Jesus Christ, am I the only straight guy here!?

Maybe you're not really gay, like Herpetologist wasn't. At least according to Mewa.

Not for very much longer....

True...and hanging out with gay people has its advantages. First of all, they're fun as hell to party with. Second, they're fun as hell to party with. Third, if girls assume you're gay, they totally feel at ease asking your expert opinion on how their boob jobs look.

I think you all just need to come the hell out of the closet.

MAOHS, what would your wife think if she knew you were gay?

When I first met her, she was a total Fag Hag.

All my friends started out as her friends (because I'm a shy ass wallflower), so all my friends were gayballs and Lebonese women.

Besides...she knows better.

Yep, long as your bummy is intact, you're okay.

Otherwise, you're ruined, and you have to saw youself off at the waist, and throw away the whole entire bummy, pee-pee, hips, and legs assembly, and screw on a new one.

Jesus says.
No, don't bother going and looking, the regular Gideons bible don't have it, it's the special one.

As always, there's the typical inverse relationship between actual gayness and some folks acceptance of gay folk.

Secure hetrosexuals aren't slightly threatened by gay men and generally are not uncomfortable with them or even the subject.

Whereas latent homosexuals who have yet to come to terms with their need to be smothered by a large studly man, froth at the mouth at the mere suggestion of gayness, as if mere exposure would be enough to get them to switch sides of the street.

So, what's the over/under on the number of pink, frilly items Apostle keeps hidden where he thinks no one will find them? I say eight, although I bet he also keeps at least one pair of FM Pumps, possibly also pink, stashed away.

Speaking of being in the closet...

I'm not sure what FM Pumps are, but right now I'm wearing some amazing pink/lavender binkini undies.

OK. Somewhat related to my Global Warming Ultimatum, if the continuing gayification of this place...um, continues, I shall deploy a Gay Bomb; a posting style that'll be so disturbingly, stereotypically gay that it will straighten out even Soma.

So, same as usual for you then?

"Fuck Me" pumps. They're shoes, you know the high heels you like to wear so much.

Absolutely correct - especially that third one. If more straight men would master the concept that they don't *have* to address a woman's boobs instead of looking her in the eye, the conversation would improve immeasurably.

I was unaware of those. Please, tell me more about these FM pumps - you seem to have great expertise and experience with them.

As any straight man who wasn't afraid of women would.

So very true. I learned that the "Heloooo Tokyo....Come innnnn Tokyo" technique re: boobs doesn't work with the wimin folk real early in my dating life.

There's more of that ageist condescension you're so completely innocent of.