Newly elected Republican Congresswoman/high school dropout vows to carry handgun to Congress

Was anybody else reminded of the Flo and Eddie routine where they talked about going through a drive through where you could get a "hamburger and handjob at the same time? Jack in the Pants!" Not on the nose, perhaps, but that's what came up when I saw it...

So, the Young Republicans thought better of the invite

She found out dude was a Democrat and said they were over

Still no comment from other Republicans even though you KNOW MTG can barely contain herself

MTG squeed so loud putin can hear it on his back porch.

Hey @Ancalagon

According to her, that was her first date with the guy

So it carried, like, 10 feet?

I agree mostly, but it was Beetlejuice the musical. When the hero of your movie would probably smoke and wank in the theater. It is like getting tossed out of a Ron White show because you drank whiskey and smoked your cigar too much for the pregnant lady in front of you. Am I going to get tossed out of a live RHPS show now because there are kids and pregnant women there?

Yes, I went to drag queen Binmgo at a church, and they did have Jello shots, but I was a bit disappointed it wasn't a raunchy adult show. I like debauchery. everything should not be for kids. Where is my Beetlejuice musical where the audience is part of the fucking show rather than watching the ghost have all the fucking fun?

Maybe Bobert was doing the right thing for a fucking change?

She’s been jerking off voters in her district all along

LOL, looks like Tugjob Annie was spending campaign cash at her Beetlejuice Boyfriend's bar.

https://www.politico.com/news/2023/10/15/boebert-campaign-cash-beetlejuice-bar-00121606

The kicker? It regularly hosts drag shows, which Bobo is adamantly against (because she thinks there are votes there, not genuine belief).

So is getting a Boebert always wrong or only when it’s crowded and kids are around?

Hypothetically speaking should someone who got a Boebert at a weekday matinee showing of the Grand Kyiv Ballet’s Snow White (in the back, no one around) feel guilty?

First off this bitch was ten years old when me and my friends were doing this shit in Disney movies. You do not even want to know what the back row at Olive and Co. looked like when I was there. (That was the re-realease, not the original release.) I know we weren't even close to being the first.

Fucking millenial scum, you cannot name this after her. Maybe we could call it a RBG.

That's like saying naming santorum after Santorum shouldn't have happened.

OK, point taken. The only problem I have is no one actually likes frothy anal lube. People actually enjoy hand jobs in theaters. Maybe if we named the resulting ejaculation after her rather than the action?

Work with me here, I do not want to be known for giving boeberts. It makes the whole thing really dirty.

I will concede the nuance. Would calling the act a Lauren be more palatable?

My first ever crush was a girl named Lauren who died of lukemia before graduating high school. She didn't give me a hand job on our movie date, so no not really. But thanks for opening that old wound.

I think we should call the ejaculate stain on the seat Boebert. Like don't sit there I see a puddle of boebert. or Look the boebert is rotting the pleather on that seat away.

How about a Monica/Lauren daily double?

Iced santorum is my favorite holiday beverage.

BREAKING: Lauren Boebert will switch congressional districts to improve her chances of winning in 2024

https://coloradosun.com/2023/12/27/lauren-boebert-congressional-district-switch-colorado/

Damn. This sucks for Dems as Cook has already switched the 3rd from Toss Up to Leans R.

https://x.com/redistrict/status/1740176647876423967

Picking up a democratic seat would be nice, but if she's gone that's good. As far as political strategies go, carpetbagging to a new district is not usually a good one. I wouldn't be surprised if the voters in her new district don't want that clown car parked in their front yard.

Only thing she’s got going for her is that it is an open seat as Ken Buck (a founding member of the Freedom Caucus) has decided the Republicans are too crazy and is out:

Buck announced in November 2023 that he would not seek a sixth House term, stating that his party's "insidious narratives breed widespread cynicism and erode Americans' confidence in the rule of law."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Buck

She isn't keeping her campaign strategy close to her chest. Apparently she is going from a mildly red district to a very red district. It's possible that with her name recognition (no bad press, amirite?), looks and a possible endorsement from Trump, she will pull ahead (or a shaft) of her competition.