Who Here Is A "Sexpert"?

Discussion in 'The Red Room' started by $corp, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. $corp

    $corp Dirty Old Chinaman

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    First off, do you think you are one? Do you think you know all there is to know about sex? What makes you think of youself as a sexpert?
    Discuss!
  2. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    Most days, I'd say I'm at least competent at getting myself and my wife off. Beyond that, you take your chances, so I charge in advance.

    :D
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  3. Mrs. Albert

    Mrs. Albert demented estrogen monster

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    I can't imagine so. It would seem logical that you learn more as time passes and you've had more experiences.
  4. Dan Leach

    Dan Leach Climbing Staff Member Moderator

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    With the vast amount of knowledge and experience i've gained i can't call myself anything but a complete expert. I don't think there is anything i don't already know. I can turn lesbians straight and celibates into nympho's
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  5. Lt. Mewa

    Lt. Mewa Rockefeller Center

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    That would be Bizarro Dan Leach, right?!:unsure:
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  6. JUSTLEE

    JUSTLEE The Ancient Starfighter

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    In what sense?

    If you mean medical, then I know a few things but by far don't have any kind of degree.
  7. GuiltyGear

    GuiltyGear Fresh Meat

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    Dan's trying a new approach.. lol.
  8. Lt. Mewa

    Lt. Mewa Rockefeller Center

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    Jeeeez, you are a real dinghy! :jayzus:


    Get hip, dude!!!
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  9. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    I've watched countless hours of porn, read tons of erotica, read every manual book I could get my hands on, and every site I could get my mouse on, and I've burnt complete anatomical files into my memory.

    I don't see how I possibly couldn't play a Beethoven concerto on my future partner's nervous system.
    :shrug:
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  10. Forbin

    Forbin Do you feel fluffy, punk?

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    Still learning, according to the wife. :garamet:
  11. Uncle Albert

    Uncle Albert Part beard. Part machine.

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    The next time she says that, ask her to bring a friend and teach you to multitask.

    :diablo:
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  12. Patch

    Patch Version 2.7

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    I'll never be an expert, but I'll always know enough.
  13. Forbin

    Forbin Do you feel fluffy, punk?

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    Practice, practice, practice....
  14. Dan Leach

    Dan Leach Climbing Staff Member Moderator

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    I think twice in the last 7 years is enough to know everything,... i mean, what could i possible not know about.... ?
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  15. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Oh, come on, Dan stumble-bummed onto being the king of cunnilingus.

    You gonna let Dan beat you?

    Take it serious!
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  16. Diacanu

    Diacanu Comicmike. Writer

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    Ha!! Same time!
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  17. Lt. Mewa

    Lt. Mewa Rockefeller Center

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    You have thoroughly depressed me. :jayzus:
  18. Josieland

    Josieland Guest

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    What'd I tell ya.:IMHO!:
  19. Dan Leach

    Dan Leach Climbing Staff Member Moderator

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    Anyone who didn't spot the worlds largest amount of irony/sarcasm have a :mewa: :)
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  20. Chris

    Chris Cosmic Horror

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    I'm a scientist.
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  21. Forbin

    Forbin Do you feel fluffy, punk?

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    I'm a comfortador.
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  22. AlphaMan

    AlphaMan The Last Dragon

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    Sex is like every other great endeavor in life..... The more you know, the more you know you don't know.... :techman:
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  23. Forbin

    Forbin Do you feel fluffy, punk?

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    Ya know?
  24. foil1212

    foil1212 Jose "Mom Fan" Alvarez Staff Member Moderator

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    I think I'm going to invent a drug called sexlax ;)
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  25. oldfella1962

    oldfella1962 the only real finish line

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    I don't even bother to be a sexpert. I'm not giving my best efforst if it's only with my wife anyway. Now toss me into bed with Shakira (for example) and I'll throw out all the stops. It';s all about motivation IMO.
  26. KamelReds

    KamelReds Bite the Curb!

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    I'm young. But I have a TON of experience. Not with a bunch of people, with a couple(double digits. Yes I'm a whore.), but my most experience comes from one girl and if I could get her to orgasm(she's hard to please) every time and very well, I think I can do most of it.

    And I think I'm pretty sure I've been in every position.

    Needless to say, the ex and I were bunnies.
  27. Tamar Garish

    Tamar Garish Wanna Snuggle? Deceased Member

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    I'm a sexpert when it comes to Zel!

    But you know what? Even after almost 18 years of sex together...there are still times we can surprise each other.

    That is really a key to long term monogamy...good communication, open-minded consideration of each other's desires and sometimes just shaking things up a bit even if it only a little.

    You know...Dan..I've seen plenty of you (Ahem, literally :blush: ) to know you have a lot going for you...you are good looking, neat, nice and not a drooling idiot. The only thing I see that could be holding you back is you. Be it wariness, shyness or confidence issues..I don't know for sure...but I am sure you will find someone special if you truly want to eventually.
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  28. frontline

    frontline Hedonistic Glutton Staff Member Moderator

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    Nope, I dont know a damned thing about sex at all.
  29. Tamar Garish

    Tamar Garish Wanna Snuggle? Deceased Member

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    As long as you've been banging that tree, you should have learned something by now! :D
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  30. Lethesoda

    Lethesoda Quixiotic

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    Ditto. I for one have seen very little of Dan, but what little I saw was good looking, neat, and lacking in drool.
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