Joe Rogan Cancels the Cancelers

Basically.

This sounds like one of the most disgusting monstrosities ever created in a kitchen

Seriously, it's not that it's you. If anyone posted this I would call them out on this

Julia Child just threw up all over herself in her grave and Bobby Flay is rocking back and forth crying naked in a corner somewhere

What the fuck is wrong with you?

There's so much wrong with this I don't even know where to begin. Might have to do a breakdown but there's just so much to unpack

Why the fuck would this recipe call for canned spinach and microwaved bacon? If you're already cooking the chicken, just cook the other ingredients as well. You can sautee spinach in a minute or two, and throw in some fun stuff like onions or mushrooms.

With some modifications it might result in a better end product (like making your own sauce rather than using store bought dressing, or adding more veggies and seasonings).

Also, how big is the bag of cheese?

Or if you're la-de-daa, do it FW's way.
I guess.
If you want.

It's like if Guy Fieri made a chicken caesar salad. There's nothing horribly wrong here other than proportions and costco ingredients where real food could be. Oh, and the cooking it in a casserole at the end? Yeah, that's some eyetwitch...


replace the bag o cheese with fresh shredded (actual) cheese,
cut the chicken into strips and grill'em or broil'em
do the bacon on a baking sheet with a Tspn of vinegar for the grease-if i'm going for bits, I'll jsut take the scissors to it before hand and cut 1/4" strips crosswise.
I'd probably go with romaine instead of spinach-although you could convince me if it was fresh leaf- and a less enthusiastic amount of dressing (2 oz per serving)-get the fancy shit in a jar. costs more, but lasts longer because you don't need near as much to taste it.

"If you take this pill, along with diet and exercise, you will lose weight or your money back."

"This breakfast cereal, along with whole wheat toast, milk, juice, fish pills, and a raw calf liver, will provide 100% of the daily recommended allowance of ten essential vitamins and minerals."

Sounds horrifying.


()

Ok let's give this a try

Canned spinach? Why on earth would you use canned when fresh or frozen are perfectly fine, affordable options and taste far, far better?

Honestly I didn't think they canned spinach anymore and I'm in the canned food business

Ok

Little over the top, but I watch my sodium intake

Dear god here we go

Why?!?! Too much effort scooping out a regular bottle?

Pre-shredded I'm assuming. Ever wonder how pre-shredded cheese doesn’t clump together and become one big ball of cheese? Because there are additives in shredded cheese that stop it from sticking together. There's more cellulose in there than there is cheese. You're better off to just shred a block of cheese

Why do you cook your chicken that long, undercover? That's some dry ass chicken. Grill that shit until you get an internal temp of 160 degrees and then let it rest up

Tough to accurately cut dry chicken into uniform cubes but ok

I'm sorry....you.....you....microwave your bacon? Thought only McDonalds and Subway did that

Slow cook it in a pan on the stove top, you'll thank me

Well that's probably the first good thing you've written so far

Ok

Annnnd I just threw up in my mouth thinking about this clump of smelly canned spinach slowly sliding out of the can into the strainer

Ok

Why? Stirring in saturated fats and sodium into an already heavily sodium laden dish, upping the caloric intake by a million. There's got to be something better

Hot ranch sauce, jesus christ

The whole bag, yikes. I mean to each their own but that's not my cup of tea

So essentially you're getting a gooey mess of sludge that isn't particularly good for you and probably sends you to the shitter non stop.....or constipates you for days, I can't decide which

A whole baking tray too - so you're like eating this for a couple of days too, damn

Also like my esteemed colleague @Fisherman's Worf says, you're missing out on making this dish better than it is (not that that's hard). Sautee some mushrooms and zucchini, finding a better option than fucking ranch sauce

No!

I'm sure all that would probably work.

But then prep time is like 4-5 hours, and who needs that?


I mean...I guess there MUST be people that LIKE being in the kitchen that long, but they must be sickies.

meh-neither mine nor Ten's is more than 15 minutes prep and maybe another ten of pushing stuff around a grill. It might mean a little more selective shopping at the local grocery chain, but way too many benefits to not give it a shot.

https://www.midcenturymenu.com/recipes/recipe-category/casserole/

you ain't lived till you've had canned ham and beans suspended in orange jello

[benny_hill]
I tasted it twice. Once going down...
[/benny_hill]

Summarizing update on the Rogan/CNN row:

You think the canning industry would just leave Popeye defenseless like that? For shame.



I actually had a coworker on some weird raw beet diet bring in a can of spinach a couple years ago. He was teased mercilessly for the rest of the week. I'm guessing it's probably something that appeals to people making Indian food cheaply and in bulk?

So do you have something more important to do during your day or night?

Answering your insightful and erudite posts.

I can't figure out how fresh spinach evolves from a crispy vegetable that's great for salads and sandwiches, into a slimy, disgusting mess when it's canned or cooked

Ranch is good on French fries.

This is my favorite easy spinach recipe.

As a former tortoise owner I'll forever be opposed to spinach due to it's unacceptable calcium/phosphorous ratio. You guys that eat it had better be sprinkling vitamin powder on everything else, otherwise your shells are gonna get soft.

Sauteed with garlic is nice.

Throw in some nuts.

I sure as shit would ask what papers he's basing that on, and when they inevitably turn out to be on the list of fraudulent ones, I'd tell him.

Sauteed spinach is delicious, as long as it's from fresh spinach. I'll add some to an omelette with sauteed onions and mushrooms too. Fucking delicious, healthy breakfast and it takes like 5 minutes (hint: you can let the omelette cook while you're sauteeing the veggies, then add the veggies at the end).

That's not 4-5 hours of prep time. You can let the chicken and bacon cook while you take 5 minutes to prep the rest of the ingredients.

Honestly the longest thing is letting the chicken sit outside the refrigerator for 20-30 minutes so it cooks more evenly. You can do all your prep then and still have time to relax.

My mom grew up on that kind of shit. She says she was in college before she learned that there were spices other than salt and pepper. Then she learned to cook, got really good at it, and never looked back.

Doesn't that burn your nuts?

reported

But it's been infused with my money making bullshit, proven to fleece gullible consumers hoping for a miracle cure!