I know it is typical of the British to whine and complain about how they’re country is turning to shit, but I have to say that it wasn’t really until I was on the tube this morning looking at everyone going to work and the general state of public transport that I realised how true all the complaining about, at least in the capital, and it got me thinking generally, why the hell do people live in London? Let’s look at all the areas of my daily life and I defy anyone to tell me that London isn’t a pretty shit place to live…. Public Transport – Ok, this one is obvious, but is it not a human’s right not to get trampled all over when travelling to work? I dread the commute these days when I get on the tube. Always I’m pressed up against someone or I have an armpit in my face. People are rude and just don’t care if you get squashed by the carriage door or are scrunched into a corner (which is doubly hard when you’re tall). To think that those arse bandits in the EU legislate to make sure that cattle on trains have space to move and try ban battery farms while we humans have to just put up with in human travel. Lets not even get start on the crumbling system and delays. I can’t remember a time in 10 years of commuting when there weren’t broken down trains at some point during the week. Money and wealth – Why the fuck is everything here so expensive and such bad value for money compared to how much we get paid?? They only other place I’ve been in the world that is absurdly expensive was Oslo. I mean my girlfriend and I are by no means poor my the average standard and I earn and above average salary, but in order for us to enjoy the normal comforts in life and a social life we are having to accept that the kind of flat we want to life in, in a half decent area is going to be some one or two bedroom shoebox, when for the same money and earnings in the middle of small town America or Australia we would have a five bedroom house. I mean, jesus christ, everything I spend money on is bad value. From the £90 I pay a month to the use the tube and get abused to the almost £4 it costs to get a decent pint in a nice pub, it’s all far too expensive for what you get. Even middle of the range meals are relatively small and pretty inferior. Say all you want about New Yorkers but I know that if I walk into even the crappiest of boozers in Manhattan and order something to eat it’s going to be reasonably good and not short on size. Here, soggy shit that’s had about as much love and care put into it as a Big Mac. And what’s with lunchtime sandwiches? Why does it now cost me £3 or more to get two pieces of soggy bread and some leaves? I mean if I make it at home it’s a fraction of the price, so what am I paying for, special mayonnaise and a cardboard container? Oh, and what’s this bullshit of adding a pound onto every fucking item in places like Pret a Manger or EAT if you dare to use one of their seats? Fucking crooks. Don’t even get me started on the congestion charge…. Moody bastard or useless servers – I am sick of using shops, public services and encountering waiters/bar staff who are either incompetent and/or have serious attitude problems. I mean what the fucking hell am I doing so wrong in asking them for a bit of service? Aren’t these douces supposed to do that for their jobs? For instance, last week I booked an appointment at Boots Opticians and arrived ten minutes late because, you guessed it, the Tube was delayed. When I arrived there I got some guy who said I had to wait 30 mins in order to get into see the optician for an eye test because “that’s when the next appointment is like innit you know”. After 25 minutes the same dirtbag comes back and announces to me that he has asked the optician about seeing who said I cannot be fit in and I have to come back in two hours. Now this filth has been wandering around in the intervening period doing bugger all side from chatting with colleagues. Naturally I raise a grievance as to why he’s left me sitting there for so long without speaking to the optician before had and all I get in response is “ well she can’t see you before 11am innit, noffing I can do mate”. Not even a fucking apology! This time last week we were in restaurant and one of our party decided to complain after find her food was cold and an unreasonably small serving for the type of place it was. What was she told in response (by the manageress no less)? “You should have complained before you ate the food”? Best part was that she had only had half the dish! No gesture, no effort to appease the situation – just attitude. Now I encounter this kind of crap everyday in some context or another and it’s rife throughout London. It’s beyond me why people are allowed to get away with such bad service. Rudeness – Why, why are people so rude to each other these days? Need I say any more…. Crime – Let’s face it crime is going to shit in London. What with all the teenage stabbings, robberies, gang murders and so forth happening on one’s door step you have to wonder how long it is before you are caught up in it. Dirtiness – Why is my city a shit heap? Trash everywhere I go. Hell, in the area where my girlfriend’s flat is, where I spend most of my time, there seems to be a competition running through the local unwashed to see who’s dog can leave the biggest turd on the pavement. What’s the hell’s up with that? Foreigners – Probably as an immigration lawyer I’m best one to make a complaint but I hear more accents and languages on the tube these days than anywhere else. I’m all for being cosmopolitan, but it doesn’t nonetheless always feel strange to me that when I go home I’m a minority! Any why is it that all of the backgrounds of immigrant cultures are encouraged, accept my own? For instance, would I be offending people if I suggested that Asian muslims, to pick a group out of a hate, should attend May Day parades and be encouraged to learn how to cook a shepherd’s pie? Pub toilets – Why the hell are people in this town such filth? The shit goes in the fucking bowl, not the floor! It is not a swimming pool, you do not need to add to the moisture on the tiles and for god’s sake leave the toilet roll on it’s holder!!! Doctors – I am not a fucking moron. Discuss it with me, don’t just push me out the door! Red Ken – Well, he’s just a cunt isn’t he? So, in conclusion, there’s plenty of reasons for people to stay away and I don’t know why people want to live here. So, what can we do to change it? Not a lot. Oh well……
Come home El Chup, though not by birth or any other legal standing you are an American. There's a farm in Smallville calling your name.
I see a lot of the same things in NYC. I would never live in the city due to cost. That's why I live just outside of NYC. But Jersey City is starting to get expensive also. Oh and over here we have Pooper Scooper Laws. All dog owners must clean up after their dog or be ticketed. If you are walking a dog without a bag or poop scooper you will be ticketed. You almost never see dog shit in NYC.
It's against the law here too. Unfortunately there aren't enough coppers to enforce it though and I find that theren't aren't many "turd bins" around either.
New Yorkers will watch you and see that you scoop the shit. "Hey pal, you gonna scoop that shit or what??!" "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ya not leaving that shit there are ya?!?"
Its been 20 years since I drove in London or spent any real time there. It was a very nice place to visit, but there is something to be said for being able to drive from my home to work, to shopping, etc and have a free parking spot when I get there.
It took me a 3 week stay in London to realise all of that. Nice place to visit, but you wouldn't wanna live there. Its the same in any big city, thats just their nature, the bigger and more important the worse it is. People say London is where the money is, you may get paid 3 times more (or not as the case may be) but everything costs 4 times more I wouldnt like to live anywhere larger than the very very nice small city i live in now, and idealy I'd like to move a few more miles outside it into the country. The only real pain in the arse is getting home from the pub and the ability to quickly nip into town if i need to buy something... but i can live with that
If you lived where I live, you could easily drive anywhere you want to go without worrying about other people in your way, it's pretty clean (definitely zero dog crap on the street), the average person is polite and friendly, and the () beers are about $2.50 each. On the flip side, you have to get extremely creative to entertain yourself if you live here long.
I grew up just south of the river, but I haven't lived there for 29 years and haven't worked there for three. El Chup: hear the siren voices: move outside the M25. Choose the right rail line (not ours, it's one of the worst in the country) and your trip into the centre need only be half an hour, or so. And OK, your shoebox won't be a four or five bedroomed house in acres of land, but it will be a three-bed with a reasonable garden. From all I've heard over the years, trains into Paddington are quick, if crowded, as are those from round Orpington way (don't know about the rest of Kent). Hertfordshire has pretty good links; Essex, Sussex and Surrey commuters compete to tell the worst horror stories. London is a great place to be a young adult, but it's no place for anyone else to live...
Oh, and don't complain about the doctors in London, treatment up here is shocking. A friend of mine had a 3 week wait for an abortion pill, after finding out at 4 weeks gone, so had to get surgery instead because the fact she had to travel up in holidays meant she passed the 8 week marks. And so she ended up being 12 weeks gone. From what I've seen, that's the tip of the iceberg. I went to the doctor for a note and something else, finished in the timeslot, but was bitched at for not booking two slots because it was two issues. My doctors in London always talk things through with me. It's never happened up here - they just want you out the door. I got lost in the system apparently for my narcolepsy treatment, and so ended up 6 months behind. Either way, it was a 6 week list between testing and consultation for everything. They kicked me out of the thing because I overslept and missed my appt. ONE. When I was being tested for NARCOLEPSY. So I had to get my GP to re-refer me, and wait another 6 weeks (3 weeks, get a letter saying you're on the waiting list, call up to book appt, have appt 3 weeks later). Never had an issue with NHS in London. Of course, I live in Greater London, rather than central, but still closer than most....
From what I saw of it, I always thought the Epping area would be a nice place to live. Not so crowded but on the Red line and close to the M11. Nice pubs and you get to see trees and open country a bit. Of course that was way back in the 20th century
It is getting very silly now, had so many stabbing and shootings in my neighborhood in the last few years. At the point now where it's not a good idea to go out after 9:30 at night unless you want to have a gang of 6 black kids follow you around and then jump you. Think thats down to chavs and wannabe gangsters with there pitbulls, hate them as they know they can get away with it as most people are scared of them now (Police don't show up for anything that generates paperwork) I think i'm the only one in my area who picks up after his dog and i still get bitched at by coffin dodgers, but then never say a word to the scum who doesn't pick up because they are scared silly by the gangs. Oh and everything does cost way too much. (£2.90 for one stop on the train)
I managed to last 18 months. It was when I smacked someone in the face during the journey to work that I knew it was time to get out.
I feel like that all the time, it's worst when i'm in a supermarket and you have some knuckle dragging trog who keeps pushing in to the back of your legs with a basket and then just glares at you and grunts when you ask them to stop it.
Remember that he's talking about the centre of London, that the pints are bigger, and he's not tipping the bartender. Generally, I find going out drinking in the US more expensive, unless you get buy-backs.
I wasn't prepared to take the chance. I now only travel to London for conferences and meetings occasionally and I'm so glad not to be taking a tube journey everyday. I don't think I have the patience for it anymore.
Yeah i'm a pussy because i didn't punch a woman in the face, Shouldn't you be vandalizing someones property?
A pint in the US is 16 oz. In the UK it is 20 oz. On top of that, some bars have dodgy glasses with thick bottoms (I encountered this in Chicago). They don't say anything about selling you a "pint", so you can't complain about fraud, but the real capacity is just 12 oz.
